You are here

What to do????

nodramastepmama's picture

Submitted by nodramastepmama on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 4:18pm

Alright, so I've been contemplating this for awhile but don't really know how to go about it! The BM of SS4 really hated me in the beginning of my relationship with FDH. For the past 6 months she's been ALOT better about tolerating me. She went from not wanting me to be around BB4 to actually dropping her off with me without FDH around. She just got engaged this past weekend and I've been thinking for awhile that it'd be nice to clear the air with her. I'd like to write her an email apologizing for our bad relationship from the start and just explain that I would NEVER try to be a mom to SS4 because she already has a great one, I'm just another female adult who's there for her and a mother type figure. Have any of you ever done this before? What should I say? And do you think this would backfire on me?

The biggest reason I want to do this is so that the awkwardness can go away when we're all together. I figure now that she's engaged and happy, she'll be in a much more receptive mood. SS7's BM clearly hates me and FDH and makes it very clear to SS7 her disdain for us and he's a VERY nervous child because of it. I don't EVER want another child to go through what SS7 goes through. Please give me some advice!!

Comments

Oi Vey's picture

Submitted by Oi Vey on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 4:22pm

I figure give it a shot. Make the effort. If it blows up in your face, you'll know not to try again. Wink

nodramastepmama's picture

Submitted by nodramastepmama on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 4:39pm

Thanks for the advice! I agree! I figure it makes me the better person if she responds with a not so nice email! I just figured I'd extend an olive branch, if she doesn't want to take it, then her problem, not mine!

Oi Vey's picture

Submitted by Oi Vey on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 4:51pm

With BM1, years ago, I found that it really helped to lay it on the line.
With BM2, she never responded and blocked my email address. Guess that's my answer Wink

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 08/25/2011 - 8:52am

I think some things are just better left unsaid. If she has been being tolerable and decent to you, then let it go. Let the relationship go from there... no need to be sappy and over dramatic about it... IMHO

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Thu, 08/25/2011 - 10:15am

I think you should definitely do it and explain to her exactly what you said here. That you see how nervous and anxious SS7 gets because of the fact that none of you get along. Tell her you don't want it to be that way for SD and that it will be easier for all of you if you can just come to an agreement that things are okay now. Life happens...and not everything always works out with relationships but you move on and accept the new situations as best as you can and do waht's best for your kids. Make it about SD the whole time and what is best for her, adn raising her in the best families and environments and working together towards that goal.