It makes a difference becuz there is a special bond you have with your own children, some people are able to mock that bond with Skids--I am not one of those people sadly. Although I love my SD very much there is a difference, a very distinct difference. Don't feel badly about that, it is natural and I am sure most of the people here can relate.

I think that asking for the time without SD or to skip a day probably hurt his feelings. Though as a SM I can certainly understand why you did. If he is like my DH he won't be able to understand and just get angry when you try....

BTW its ok to yell when kids are naughty--even skids!

Congratulations on your baby boy

Has DH addressed SD's behavior with BM? Maybe if they went to counseling or met with a mediator, they could get on the same page regarding rules, behavior, etc.

Maybe SD needs counseling too. She may feel some jealousy over the fact that your son gets DH every day and she only gets him EOW. Would he consider spending some 1-on-1 time with her when she's with you and calling her more often when she's with BM? Maybe those actions on his part would help alleviate some jealousy towards BS on her part.

Don't let your husband's shitty look and shitty ok make you feel bad. Thats on him. HIS daughter is HIS problem. Enjoy your baby.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Is that all you do sueu2? Leave the OP alone. She has a right to want to recover with out having to take car of a brand new baby AND a child she didn't birth becasue the father is going to be at work. Why doesn't he pick SD up after he gets off work, so that way newmommy77 gets a break and daddy gets to spend time with his daughter?

Welcome newmommy77! Congrats on your son!

HeavenLeigh

****"She had his past. I have his future." The Lovely Belleboudeuse****

I don't think SD should be shoved aside just because you have a new baby. HOWEVER...your husband is asking too much of you in regard to having SD there when he isn't there to help take care of her. Personally, I would have had that mess sorted out prior to bringing a new baby into it. Basically, you and BM are raising a kid created by Him and BM. It isn't right. He needs to only get SD on the days when he's actually gonna be there to spend time with her regardless of whether or not there's a new baby.

if he makes you have SD AND an infant with no additional help...I'd say he's being a selfish prick. Sorry. That's just my opinion. I feel for you honey...I really do. Having a new baby is tough enough without throwing drama and a selfish husband into the mix.

____________________________________________________________________________
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

Newmommy77, you have done nothing wrong with asking DH to do something differnt this next weekend. I am not sure if this Sueu2 has given birth recently but I had my 1 & only child almost three years ago via emergency c section. My step kids were with us the weekend the baby & I came home, not a lot of fun for them as I had to go back to urgent care on Sunday so they went home early. The next week Dh stayed home with me & the kids came over in the afternoon & week 2 they stayed with us the entire week on vacation. Starting the 3rd week the boys stopped going to ycare & spent my entire maternity leave at home with me. I have great skids & I love them very much. They have an amazing bond with their brother, BUT OMG it was way too much for me.

So Sueu2 until you have walked the walk, cut this new mom some slack.

It is hard for our husbands to understand how we feel sometimes, I often wonder if the shoe was on the other foot how they would feel. Would they be as accomidating? Mine has admitted if he had to deal with my exH the way I do BM he would not be as good as I am. Hell he had a hard time being nice to my old dog that exH gave me.

Hugs & enjoy this baby. It is important that SD has a relationship with her sibling but the first couple of weeks are hard on us girls, they have a lifetime to form that relationship.

Ooh, that's a lot to handle. I completely understand being overwhelmed, tired and hormonal with a new baby...
Look, there'a a lot of back and forth going on here, so I'd like to cut to the chase. You just had a baby. Your DH works a lot and is not home to help, so you're pretty much doing this new Mommy thing alone. That's exhausting. I get that Dad wants to have his DD on his scheduled weekends - that's completely understandable. But he's not there for it, so I can see how you would be tweaked when he says he's going to make-up his missed weekend by scheduling it between his normal EOW, making it three weekends in a row. That's a lot of work for you. Granted, I can see how others would say you signed on for this, you can't just disregard the SD and expect your DH to leave her hanging so you can have him and your new baby all to yourself. But there's a learning curve here, too. It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing-type thing.

Maybe you guys could work it out like this: Ask your DH if he could schedule his missed weekend later on down the road, like maybe next month or in June. The baby would be a little older, you'd have the routine down, maybe a little more sleep at night... maybe you won't feel so overwhelmed by then. Or you could ask your DH that he makes sure he's home for his scheduled visitations. If he can't do that, then ask him if, just for the next few weeks, SD could stay with her Mom until he can work his schedule out so he CAN be home for her visitation times. Tell him you just need some flexibility from him, because this is all so new and extremely exhausting. Make him take the night feedings to get a taste of how hard it is!

It's going to take some tweaking, but you'll find a solution. Nothing like sleep deprivation to motivate someone to find a solution!
JMHO - My best to you.