My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now and we've had our ups and downs. Trying to acclimate to this roller coaster of life as a monthly stepmom is an adventure. I am growing to care for my SD more and more as time goes by, which is rather surprising but very well welcomed. However, I'm struggling to stay happy with my husband. He's a good father, good man, but he kinda sucks as a husband. Not to mention he still holds BM high on a pedestal, even though he would be the first to tell you he doesn't even think about her. It's not that I ever believe he would ever want to go back to her. It's not that At all. However, a woman can only take so much when she is constantly having to fight battles and waging war when it comes to BM and me. The woman doesn't like me, I don't really care. My husband is just deathly scared of her. I'm constantly burdened with taking care of us, being the breadwinner. Since he owes so much child support. I try to get him to go to court to amend the agreement. The BM took a job making $15000 less than she was making. That can constitute for an amendment. But he doesn't want to. Yet he's always complains how he doesn't have money for anything. He doesn't have balls when it comes to her. But when it comes to me, he can talk to me anyway he feels. Every time my SD comes over, his whole persona changes and next thing I know, I'm being treated and talked to like a child. Once he drops her off, he goes back to normal. It's just so frustrating dealing with his different personalities, his fear of BM while idolizing her. I'm just left out somewhere fending for my self. I try and try and try to be happy but it's just going down hill so fast. I can't talk to him about how I feel cause he'll get defensive. Especially if it's about the BM and how she always thrusts her new child in his face, or how she makes it seem like she's the one doing all the work to raise their child, his inability to grow a pair, the way he acts when SD or BM are around, or how I'm struggling to remain..... well, sane. Just not sure how to go about this, really. I'm getting tired already it's only been 2 years... Almost.