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Serious illness and steps

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Submitted by napamom on Tue, 11/04/2014 - 12:43pm

I haven't posted in awhile (not that things are better but more resigned to it maybe) but I was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer and I don't want my 15 yr old SD to know mostly because I don't want the BM to know.

My DH thinks it would soften the SD to me and improve our relationship but I know she would be secretly delighted. He's just too naive to see that. The thought of me dying would be a dream come true for her. I told him it's not about that it's about my privacy and what I want. He did agree with that and will keep it private.

Get a load of this fellow steptalkers!

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Submitted by napamom on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 8:49pm

My friend is having her first baby with her DH and she has a SD. The BM felt it was her right to go the OB appointments with them because this is HER daughter's sibling. Unfreaking believable. Luckily my friend is a tough NYC girl and told her if she showed up anywhere near her she would be in a bed down the hall. Sorry...had to share.

just venting

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Submitted by napamom on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 2:43pm

My DH has to go to some high school choosing meetings tonight and tomorrow night with SD and BM. I know he has to do it but I hate when they are off together and I am home with DD 2 and DS 1 alone trying to get them to bed.

Please don't say I'm insecure or lame...just being honest.

Has anyone talked to their DH about reducing visitation?

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Submitted by napamom on Wed, 10/10/2012 - 1:57pm

My therapist brought up the idea of reducing visitation time. SD13 wants to live with BM and things are really rough when she is with us. (50/50) I immediately said not an option, I knew the score when I married him, etc. She said you knew he had a daughter but not that it would be this bad.

So my question is, has anyone successfully had this conversation without your dh going nuts?

Thanks all!

Any other SM out there...

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Submitted by napamom on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 2:08pm

Basically just say hi and bye to their steps and not much else? It has become this way in our house (after 3 years of blank looks from my SD13) and this weekend my DH is gone so it's just me, my babies and her and it is SO uncomfortable. Just curious if anyone else lives this way. Thanks!

Read this on another SM site and loved it

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Submitted by napamom on Wed, 10/03/2012 - 9:39am

"I want to say something- let no one steal the joy from your life. Don't allow their pettiness and resentment to infect your heart. Let go with love and wish everyone well. Spend your time with people who can accept the love you have to give. Don't allow your heart to harden. There's billions of people in the world. Why let a handful of them ruin so much as your day- let alone your life by becoming the bitter miserable person their mother is? Don't take ANYTHING personally"

Quick Question about switching trade off days

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Submitted by napamom on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 3:43pm

We are 50/50...one week on then one off. We switch on Mondays after school. My SD13 wants to now switch on Sundays. I am hesitant to do that because I really enjoy having the entire weekend to ourselves especially if go away on a long holiday weekend. Thoughts on this? Any help appreciated. Thanks!

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