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All of his excuses and yet I'm still crying

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 10:18am

I can't stop crying. I play back in my mind the cruel things he has done and said and wonder how someone can be so terrible. I think about how he can praise me in all areas and says my one flaw is the love department, everywhere else is perfect. Blames me that I'm not affectionate enough. That his one condition is sexuality and intimacy and I'm not giving it to him and there is no chemistry. It hurts that he throws that in my face knowing I had been sick morning, noon, and night for 3 months straight bc of morning sickness- and even then I tried to make attempts. No chemistry in bed?? Then what were all those nights that I remember? Nothing??? Sorry that if we did have sex the past 3 months it was missionary and that was too boring for you but that's the only position I wouldn't puke on you... or to give oral pleasure bc my gagging was at it's peak. I'm sorry that certain positions hit my freaking cervix and hurt incredibly bad. I'm sorry I am not one of thosee crazy bitches you've had in bed... but no one before you ever complained and had a good time.

I'm realizing the complaining isn't me doing it... it is you. Because you are selfish and cruel.

Comments

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 10:25am

Keep venting here!! We are here to support you!! ((HUGS!!))

NEVER AGAIN a man with children is MY motto!

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 10:30am

Thanks... Cray 2 I'm trying everything I can to keep me from running back so I'm not alone.

I've always been strong in leaving when it was just me. Get a baby involved and it's a whole other story. I wanted a family for my baby and my whole world crashed in.

I put on fb how "many of my friends had warned me... many of you were right." His mom responded with " things happen for a reason xoxo..." and his grandma responded "things that we don't always understand happen but God always has a plan."
Tell your son/grandson to man up and act right... he's obviously down the wrong path.

His stepmom told me he doesn't know how to treat a quality person. He's used to fun and sleezy like his ex.

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 10:36am

I never deleted any of your posts? I've never deleted anyone's post. Haven't had a reason to.

reluctantgma's picture

Submitted by reluctantgma on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:33am

I have a comment notation showing on one of my blogs, yet the comment doesn't exist. My very first comment to another person's blog seems to have gone poof and disappeared. Usually think pretty carefully about what I write and do tend to express my opinions strongly, but generally avoid the most egregious breeches of 'netiquette. Go figure...

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 12:09pm

I have noticed the same thing. But someone told me one can delete a post on their own blog and I have done that myself and then all related posts were gone too, but there was a warning.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 10:32am

Mrs Fit...my ex abuser complained about lack of affection, sexual craziness etc...in fact I dare say you may find out HOW affectionated and freaky you can be once you're not w/the loser douche.

He'll criticize your flaws and murder with words any perceived good traits you have...must be squashed-you must feel worthless.

Ughhhh---turns out every partner since my ex including my new bf has praised my skills and prowess lol-SO....so much for the exh's theory.

He's EVIL yes-it happens. I hate it for you-I really do. I remember those days-the person that was supposed to cherish and love me could actually be THAT evil to want me destroyed. It's devastating.
But you WILL survive this.

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 10:47am

Make having this baby on th way be the extra incentive to get out of an unhealthy situation. Sometimes we don't do it for ourselves, but once we have kids, we have to.

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:00am

Mrs Fit..get up and leave this man..he is so cruel and so mean it's just terrible. You need to take care of yourself and this beautiful baby you are carrying...

Please make yourself and this baby a priority...this man is no good for you...no good at all.

I wish you peace, joy and happiness... Smile

Z

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:07am

I wish all of ya'll were here. This would be a bit easier to deal with if I had more support here.

reluctantgma's picture

Submitted by reluctantgma on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:43am

Mrs, you are NOT alone even though none of us can offer our physical presence. Be brave. Take those steps to stand on your own with your baby and you will seldom or never be let down or beaten up like you have been by your baby's father. Focus on what you want and stay your course. Once you get clear on your needs and desires within yourself, a higher power than us will make sure everyone and everything it takes to get there is made available to you. I know because I raised two beautiful girls with no fathers in the picture. Now they're making adorable grand babies for me to love and spoil.

Now I have to go dwell on my advice to you and put it to use for myself. Wink

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:10am

Stay away for you & your child. This asshole is abusive. You don't deserve that. Your unborn child certainly does not deserve a life in an abusive home. Be a responsible parent & do not put your child in such a situation.

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:19am

It doesn't help that my life revolved around him... At one point when he had a crappy car he was always using mine. I couldn't even get to the gym a lot because he was always using it and made me feel guilty that he had to drive far with his girls in a car that might break down.

helena_brass's picture

Submitted by helena_brass on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:44am

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner." - Johnny Castle, Dirty Dancing
YES