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Do we sacrifice ourselves??

mommy_of_4's picture

Submitted by mommy_of_4 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 9:31pm

I have a question for all of you...let me explain a few things first. I have 3 biokids of my own. My husband has 2 and we have 1 together. I am from Canada and moved down here to where my husband grew up, 8 years ago. His kids have made my life hell...back in May I packed up and was ready to go back to Canada. I was just so fed up with being treated like the enemy all the time, and him acting like his kids were these precious perfect little angels. We packed up the trailer and we pulled away...my kids were bawling hysterically begging me not to go. They have been here nearly all their lives. So I came back...I couldn't do that to them. But I have regretted every minute of it. I really wish I really wish I had left. I feel like I sacrificed myself for my kids...and I know we are suppose to make sacrifices for our kids...but I feel like I sacrificed everything...what would you do??

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ran7773's picture

Submitted by ran7773 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 10:10pm

I SO feel your pain. My first husband abandon me with 4 children in the middle of a freezing January. He didn't pay any bills, cleaned out the bank accounts and went to live with his whore. I never thought I'd marry again. Until I met my husband. His children for the first 2 1/2 years made my life a living hell, while he literally stood by and watched. Did absolutely nothing. It got so bad that SD counselor told us that we needed to give up the 50/50 custody and let her go live with her mother because she was convinced that SD would stop at nothing, and she was already saying incriminating things about me!! ME?!!! This was ridiculous, but being in a new town where no one knew me... I had new acquaintances come up to me in the grocery store and tell me I needed to watch my back because of things they had heard from her and her mother. I was ready to leave on more than one occasion. Now we have an "ours". She is precious. I would love to say that she changed everything, but these loyalty ties and the bio bond is crazy thick- doesn't matter whether they are right or wrong. I didn't leave for the sake of my son. He finally had some stability, and I ached over what he had been through. His sisters were grown and out of the house. I felt that the only way to give him the stability and the things he deserved was to stay. That, and the fact that I had made marriage vows before God. And there in lies the issue that most miss... When you marry someone, if you are a person of faith, Your vows are covenant with God... You don't make those vows with your kids... when a spouse doesn't protect and allows their misbehaving children (hurting or not) to abuse their wife )or husband) it is just plain wrong. There is never an excuse for poor behavior. I would NEVER allow my children to treat my husband the way he has allowed his children to treat me. Hang in there- I feel your pain. Just remember, It's never wrong to do the right thing. Sometimes that is self sacrifice... sometimes it means laying down a hard lined boundary! You're welcome to check out my blog- don't know if that will help at all.. cyber hugs girl- hang in there

http://www.survivingsteplife.blogspot.com