I didn't realize how much I needed this board (I posted: lots of help needed in parenting) now after reading and responding to some threads, I'm still learning the lingo here but Oh my! I think I needed more help than I thought!!

So married 5 years basically a SP for almost 9 years. I ask myself daily, what I did wrong or if I'm a bad person. I love my DH, my BC, and my SS but with everything I am forced to deal with I'm ready to just pack up and move!

I know there are two sides to every story but wait till you hear this (btw lawyers have laughed at me thinking I was joking) since this is a public board I'd like to not include every detail. I've been dealing with BM of my SS10 for almost 9 years. Originally for a year she kept SS away from the fathers family playing house with her bf she left my DH for. No reason at all, (i was not in the picture till shortly b4 her bf left her) Soon as he left her she basically handed SS over saying she was scared and SS needed to be safe. Court wasn't too far off for visitation and DH and BM agreed one weekday in alternating weeks between the every other weekends. BM convinced DH family SS was to be dropped off Monday morning, picked up Tuesday night, dropped off Wed morning, picked up Thursday night, dropped off Friday morning till Sunday night. And this repeated for two years..... To the point even "weekends" he should have been with her, he was still here. My fav- BM lost her new puppy on a Sunday night she was to pickup my SS... No one heard from her till the following Thursday.. Um how far could a 8 week old puppy get? And why did it prohibit a phone call in return or answering your cell phone???
She collects a hefty sum of child support and hit the bars. She really only took him for holidays n days family, friends had parties to play mom of the year. I know this effected my SS b/c even as late as last summer he came to an outting with just me and his HS. He came out and asked if he can call me mom. After his BM actually tore him a new one about how you only have one mom (even though I'm there way more than she!) I've never pushed anything, let him call me whatever. He started the mom thing multiple times (I assume from my kids calling me mom) but this was the first he asked me. He just wants a MOM.
Now BM has a new fiancé that just got out of prison and plans to have a child w/ the guy. Since he's been free, she has actually started keeping the child when she should have him. Playing house again...

Since during this time (9 yrs) has managed to barely have or support her son, the times she did he had major injuries or health problems (in the er for) she would go to different ers almost every time. Makes me think they weren't accidents more so her neglect of not watching him when she rarely had him.

Also a church group that never met SS took moms word and declared him autistic, she had a heck of a time getting a doctor to say that!! They refused. BM wants SS as income and wants him on disability. When she figured out 8 years later that wouldn't happen. BM told us he outgrew his autism (false the never outgrow just learn to deal) I told DH watch out shes about to do something a few days later...She said SS tried to kill her and had him slapped in the mental ward (really? The kid cries at animal abuse commercials!!) he did not want to leave the hospital. Told us he didn't remember anything like BM said, she filled him in. I took this all very seriously as I have small children (his siblings) I wouldn't want in danger but it seems like a ploy to try for disability again.

There is sooo very much I deal with not even listed here.. But parenting issues seems to be the place I need the most support. Deep down he's a good kid, problem is now he is most impressionable and to be with a bad example constantly and pushed into being, we will say "bad". I wanted nothing more than him to have a real mom, that cared about him. Now that she wants to play house for the last two months he is getting worse behavior wise and much more blatant about what's acceptable. He is stealing cigarettes, told my older BD he smokes "other stuff", the whole picture stealing, going though whatever he wants. BM has always said he's a horrible child and she can't deal with him..uh since he was 2!!! But she did not raise him...I never had a doubt he was a good child, a bit of a cry baby, nothing more. Now since she's spending more time with him (it may have been a bad idea) b/c this is what we are trying to fix! My favorite part tho is BM had to be friends with my family on social sites... To which she says look at this great kid I've raised.. Or how she's such an awesome single parent and does it without help from anyone.... OMG I'd like to respond to those but she also has mental problems or so she says, trying to get disability for herself (when that didn't work, she moves on to my SS) for some reason she's a damn good liar an people believe her, so if I open my mouth I'm bad b/c I'm with her ex! Who for the past 9 years was the only stable parent he saw regularly, and pays hefty child support while DH parents got snow jobbed into buying shoes, clothes, haircuts, video games, I.E everything!!!