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Boardwalk Empire....

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Submitted by MJL2010 on Sun, 10/23/2011 - 8:30pm

...appears to be more important than having a really important, albeit potentially pointless, conversation about upcoming court. DH is officially in his cave and in spite of the snarky first sentence, I understand. There feels like there is just no point in discussing it.

Steptalkers who have been "through" court- law guardians, psychological evaluations, re-written alienation clauses, judge-ordered parenting stress management classes:

NYS right of First Refusal question

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Submitted by MJL2010 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 5:39pm

Hi all. Here's the scenario that I'm hoping someone has an answer about. We couldn't reach our attorney today and this is driving me nuts.

March 2011: DH asked BM if she would take SSs for weekend of 10/14-10-16 (this coming weekend) so that we could attend a wedding. She agreed and wrote it into their "handshake" (non-legally binding) schedule, that she would have the boys that weekend.

August 2011: BM, pissed about a chain of events that she made up, reneged on taking the boys this coming weekend. Texted DH and told him to find a sitter.

Just got a call from DH

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Submitted by MJL2010 on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:17am

The principal of SSs' school called him this morning. We had filled out an information sheet at the beginning of the year for the boys' stepfamily names to be listed in their parent/teacher/student orgnaization directory. The boys spend half their time with us and we support them in their school however we can, though we live out-of-district (BM moved 17 miles away and changed districts so that she could "get healthy and move on with her life"- yeah, right!!! It has been over a year now and she has grown even more unstable, even with her change of scenery.)

Unrestricted phone access in New York- anyone know definitively if...

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Submitted by MJL2010 on Sun, 10/02/2011 - 7:18am

...we can- without breaking any laws- have the boys speak to BM on speaker so that her alienation, interrogation, and bullying can be monitored? She has lost the privilege of calling on our land line because she was leaving messages that were inappropriate and intrusive to leave in a house where four children live, so we have asked that she only call on DH's cell.

Yesterday

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Submitted by MJL2010 on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 5:20am

Yesterday the boys met with their "attorney for the child" with BM, and are meeting with him again today with DH.

I so hope that truth will win out over terrorism.

This is no way to live. BM was off the rails again yesterday. I don't know how to get to the "Who does she think she is?" place with this woman and her constant threats, slanderous e-mails, etc...etc...she just goes on and on and on, and then projects her behavior onto DH and, of course, me.

Any recommendations?

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Submitted by MJL2010 on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 4:49pm

I was wondering if anyone has had success with any particular resources on how to deal with people (BMs, specifically) who likely have NPD- I mean a total match for every single characteristic in the DSM-IV. Thank you! Anyone who has dealt with these types and is "out the other side", you should consider putting a workbook/manual together- that could be your retirement, and think of the service you'd be doing for other stepparents!

BM's letting her crazy show and the waiting is the hardest part!

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Submitted by MJL2010 on Fri, 06/24/2011 - 2:19pm

Nutshell:

The other day at her doctor appt., BM got the idea from something the doctor said in passing that I had requested for SSs records to be transferred to another doctor. (I never did this; recently I had my records transferred to a doctor who was closer and then I requested for DH's to be as well- small family practice, they got the ball rolling but of course needed authorization from him before they could actually transfer the records.)

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