You are here

NYS right of First Refusal question

MJL2010's picture

Submitted by MJL2010 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 5:39pm

Hi all. Here's the scenario that I'm hoping someone has an answer about. We couldn't reach our attorney today and this is driving me nuts.

March 2011: DH asked BM if she would take SSs for weekend of 10/14-10-16 (this coming weekend) so that we could attend a wedding. She agreed and wrote it into their "handshake" (non-legally binding) schedule, that she would have the boys that weekend.

August 2011: BM, pissed about a chain of events that she made up, reneged on taking the boys this coming weekend. Texted DH and told him to find a sitter.

October 10:
A) DH e-mailed BM to remind her that he would be away from the boys for more than four hours this coming Sunday (the day that she had reneged on; her constant terrorizing of us involves made-up accusations about DH violating the four-hour rule, which he never does- she, on the other hand, violates it when she goes away overnight and lies to DH- she thinks he doesn't know).

Dirol BM e-mailed back that she would like to know with whom the boys will be during that time, and that she would like to consider taking them that day if her schedule allows it.

My question is: if she reneged, has she waived the legal right of first refusal? We have booked a sitter, made all of our plans. Can she really pull this shit JUST BECAUSE THEY GREW IN HER UTERUS?? Do we really have to change our plans now because she may wish to take the boys? First refusal sucks when you are dealing with an unstable, at best, BM!!!!

Comments

MJL2010's picture

Submitted by MJL2010 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 6:00pm

Allgirls, he e-mailed her to stave off the shitstorm that would have occurred if he had not reminded her. In the next interrogation of the boys during/after the event, likely during her *second* daily phone call/interrogation/make the boys cry session, the boys would have told her that they were with a sitter, and the shitstorm would have commenced (likely presenting as harrassment via text while we are at the wedding, and it would also likely involve several e-mails raging about telling her lawyer, etc....)

It is all defense with her and damage control with the boys. Has been for two years. Exhausting.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 1:22pm

If she didn't want them when he offered the conversation stops there. We had ROFR in our agreement. If your husband wants to give them to her he can now, but he put it out to her and she refused so it is up to him now. She can not go back and forth like this. If she refused, it is her problem if she wants them now and your DH says no.

Keep copies of all the emails, she will look like a lunatic when you go back to court and you are probably headed there...