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School in NY question

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NYS Steptalkers.

Do any of you know what constitutes truancy in NYS? If you do, would you please send me a private message? I have a question but don't want to blast it out all over ST in case BM has found this site.

Thank you.

MJL

DH

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DH is so sad that I am disengaging. In a rather eventful week, I wrote a letter to BM trying to explain where I'm coming from and what has led me to realize that a relationship with her children is not something I am going to wreck myself over anymore. (I have told DH and even the twins these things many times before.)

So of course she won't even respond to my email but responds to DH instead. His response is the same old "Boo hoo, I'm so sick of being in the middle of all this", etc.

SS11twinA

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This twin is an entitled, spoiled, lazy little so-and-so. A couple of weeks ago, the night after the birthday dinner luxury fiasco, he heard some things he didn't like and immediately got on his phone and began texting BM. I told him to stop, then I brought them out to make dinner with me. But he got on phone after that. Guess what? All messages from that night and the week that followed have been deleted and BM has changed her iCloud password.

BM timeline

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2008: BM files for bankruptcy without DH's knowledge (he obviously had to sign and was a part of it, but she made the decision to do so without his knowledge or input) and blames this entirely on him

Hate the person I've become

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I teach yoga, for goodness' sake. I am a teacher. I have patience for the most frustrating kids day in and day out at school. I try to "walk the walk" where mindfulness, breath, compassion, and ease are concerned. I used to be a really good parent and once I even approached step-parenting with my heart in the right place.

Now? I seem to always let the skids get the better of me. Their foul attitudes, constant backchat, and other things make all good stuff about me fly out the window. I rant and yell and swear in front of my own kids. I feel out of control.

Part II of Luxuries

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So yesterday I decided to broach the subject with a really positive spin: "What happened last night and has happened many times in the past will not be happening again; here's why:

1. Papa and I will be making sure that we iron out every detail of what you are allowed to order before we go out to a restaurant again;

2. You will not be waiting to hear what everyone else is ordering and then ask if you can order something a step "above";

Luxuries and skids

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My skids seem to think that they are deserving of the most luxurious items in every facet of their lives- mattresses, footwear, fancy foods. Tonight's fiasco took place at a restaurant, celebrating DD's 10th birthday- they wanted to order the filet mignon hibachi, for like $28 each. DH not speaking to me because I told them "no" and that since we are a family of seven, we don't order the higher-priced things on the menu on the rare occasion that we go out. They are eleven-year-old twin boys and these issues come up all the time.

SStwinA(almost 11)

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This kid has been told by the adults in his life- BM, DH, maternal grandparents, and me- that he really needs to learn when to stop talking. It has been said nicely and not so nicely many hundreds of times. His behavior- backchatting and just utter laziness, never owning up to his choices, at least at our house- has gotten steadily worse over the last couple of years and now I can barely speak to him, because there is nothing good that can come from his backchatting me. I guess he raised his hands to his mother last week and is just generally a little jackass there as well.

Strange Phenomenon

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It seems that my stepsons are getting worse rather than better as they get older- in terms of adjusting, ease in our house, and overall "contentment". (Hard to put this into words.) Both now have digestive issues that BM is always ranting *MUST* be caused by DH and me, they still freeze like deer in the headlights if I should happen to answer the phone (omg the phone games), and their former joie de vivre just seems to be fading.

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