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Who's kids come 1st?

Miss_Understood's picture

Submitted by Miss_Understood on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 5:57pm

Sometimes I feel like he thinks it's okay to put me and my daughter last. He has said out right "His kids come first". We are having a child together but there is a problem with my daughter going to her aunts or grandparents when his kids are around. But when it's just us three he doesn't mind one way or another if she spends the weekend where ever. The kids get there feelings hurt and he gets upset about that. So do I change the way she lives and hurt her feelings or do I make his kids priority like he wants just to keep the peace.

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halfstepmom2skids's picture

Submitted by halfstepmom2skids on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 6:05pm

No way, you should absolutely let her continue to go to aunts & grandparents if that is what she and you want. Why don't the skids go to their grandparents or another relatives. The more you do it, the more the skids will accept it, but it doesn't sound like they are the ones with the problem, and in which case dh needs to get a grip. It gives him opportunity to focus on his kids and benefits him if anything.

Torn's picture

Submitted by Torn on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 6:20pm

No, you shouldn't have to change because his children get upset. Now, if your child wanted to be around his kids and you sent her off anyway, then I could understand him being upset. But, if she really wants to go to her aunts house, let her go. Or you two could come to an agreement that on weekends, she will stay with her aunt one night and stay home one night..this way, everyone wins (sort of)

Now, I can understand him saying that his children come first. I'm sure you feel the same way about your child..she comes first no matter what. I don't agree with him saying out loud. I think that is something all parents feel, but we keep it to ourselves for the sake of everyones feelings Smile

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 12:15am

Don't his children go to their mother's house?

My bio kids go places that my skids don't go because my skids go to another parent's house, and my bio kids all have their parents in the same house, so there's no where for them to go, unless it's Mimi's or Auntie's.

What is there for their feelings to be hurt over? Do they not have an extended family?