20 y.o. SD....spoiled, only child, father has never told her no ever, hated her mother for years. Doesn't appreciate anything. We have gotten along great until about 2 years ago, when she went away to college when I believe it got worse...last summer was the worse..telling my husband lies about me constantly which I was defending myself... last September she cussed him out for something nice he did for her and didn't talk to him for 2 weeks...I found a letter from him to her begging for her forgiveness, that his heart was aching (vomit) and would do anything to fix the problem, nothing about all the cuss words she used towards him.....then I found a letter back from her, very lengthy, saying that when she was 7 he told her that no woman would come between them and that for the last 7 years she has been "screaming at the top of her lungs" that she doesn't like me...totally untrue....(we did everything together and were great together, everyone commented how wonderful we got along) and she told him as long as I was around she wouldn't be part of this family...didn't come home for the holidays so he went to her...spent Christmas day at his ex's and her family and daughter which I found out later.... while he left me and my kids at home over Christmas. He spent 4 days and nights in her bed, in our home, yes she is 20,....after her wisdom teeth were pulled while I was downstairs in our bed alone all that time. I had to leave for Texas for a week to go to a very close friends funeral and did not get one phone call from him....I came home and went straight to my moms and haven't been back home since January. After that letter in September where she gave him the ultimatum he withdrew from me....did totally unacceptable things to me....and it's so ironic that during her high school years we had 2 girlfriends of hers at different times live with us because of problems they were having with their family, and both times she started getting jealous and told her father lies about them to get them to move out....and now it's me. He told me he doesn't want a divorce but wants a legal separation which we are in the process of doing now...but I am thinking that this will never change, she will always be there, he does admit she has a problem but he isn't pursuing her to get help, just enabling it. I am thinking of just divorce and I am so angry at him and her and all the time I wasted trying to make this work for all 3 of us and for her to just stab me in the back and for him to not have my back. We actually work together (but in the process of looking for another job) in the same office and do things together and as long as she is not spoken about or in the picture we are fine...but I know she will always be in the picture forever.... Just confused and hurt...I don't know what to do. thanks for listening