My DH doesn't sound as bad as yours, but he does get angry when I bitch about the skids to him. Last night he was going to sleep and I knew SD13 hadn't come up to bed. It was 4 minutes until her bedtime. I knew she stayed up way past her bedtime Friday night because of how late she slept in. So, I ask DH if he heard her come up to brush her teeth. He said she knew when her bedtime was. She has braces and doesn't brush her teeth unless someone reminds her. So, I stuck my head out in the hall and called to her. She was sitting in the dark downstairs for the 20 minutes since DH and I had unplugged the Christmas tree and come up. She was probably looking for snacks, lol. I told her it was time to get ready for bed, and she says, "Oh....OK," like she had no idea what time it was. Which was probably the case, she is a space cadet.

I shut the bedroom door, told DH that yes, I had radar, and called him a Disney Dad as he lay there in bed. He smiled a little, and I sarcastically, but light-heartedly said, "You're welcome." I just wanted the evening to suck for SD13 because she is a sloth, and never does homework, her grades stink....so why should she have a good time and get to stay up late again? }:) She is very juvenile. All she can do on her own is pee. LOL

I asked DH yesterday if OSD, SD19, had returned her textbook to Amazon because I saw the packing label still sitting on our table. The book is due today 12/21. DH and I argued and I started crying. The book was from a summer session last JUNE and DH kept saying that SD19 was at school so how could she return a book that she had left at home from the summer? I explained that she could have returned it in JULY when the class was done at community college, before she left for her dorm in August. I said she could have returned it or asked for help getting it ready on the occasions that she was home for a weekend visit, or during Thanksgiving break when she stayed on my LR couch for 5 days in a row. All he does is enable her. He said that the book was getting returned and if it's late then it's only $40. Well, it's in MY name and you're not teaching your kid anything by letting her be late all of the time. She always gets to work late and when she finally gets a REAL job, that's not going to fly.

So, I stood up to my DH yesterday, and I hate confrontation. I told him to leave me alone when we started arguing. I told him he could go somewhere ELSE if he kept treating me badly. I was really scared to say that, but I did. I told him that when SD19 waits until the last minute to order her spring textbooks, she can order them on her own account or on DH's Amazon account. She thinks all of her books will arrive in 2 days on Amazon Prime, and sometimes they do not. "Well, then DaaaaaahDeeeeeee can drive to campus and bring me my boooooooooks." DH says he doesn't mind but that's part of the enabling. I'm sick of all of the Amazon emails saying textbooks are due back, coming into my email. I forward them to DH and he sends them to SD19 who does absofuckinglutely nothing. OK, so yesterday he DID get her right back out the door to return all of her books, right when she got home from work. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. It would have been too much to get everything ready the day before when she was sitting on her ass and didn't ask DH about the Amazon label until 3:30pm in the afternoon. And then guess who DH calls at work at 3:30pm? Guess who has had terrible fibromyalgia problems with balance all week and can hardly stand? Guess who needs to finish her work and get the hell home to rest? Yes, the evil SM.

DH thinks I am Superwoman, and he's right, but I'm not doing for his kids anymore. I have been disengaged since July and cook maybe 1x a week. I help remind DH a few times here and there to have the skids do things, esp SD13, because she doesn't shower, brush her teeth or take her allergy pill without being prompted. So, I just sit back and laugh to myself most of the time at the three stooges I live with. Winter break just started and SD19 has yet to learn how to shut the front door completely behind her when she returns from work. This has happened ever since we've been in this house, whenever SD19 is home from school. So, I deadbolted the top lock today when I got up. She'll probably text DH from outside the front door when she gets home because she's too lazy to try to work the top lock herself. It sticks. }:)

Maybe we should buy some grapes and start feeding them to her, too, while we're at it. SD19 is an entitled little bitch when she is home from school. I avoid her and stay in my room. Last night she had hot chocolate on the good couch and I told her to be very careful with it. Immediate attitude from her, right in front of DH. YSD, SD13, is not allowed to have food or drink anywhere except for the kitchen table. Or else I will shave her head.

All you can do is disengage and watch your house go to shit, It's very difficult. How old is your SD? Lock up the snacks in your room for yourself or just don't buy any. Don't do her laundry, if she's only there on weekends don't cook and don't help pack her bag.....don't do shit. Retreat to your bedroom and wrap gifts, do YOUR laundry, read, put your earbuds in and escape. Or leave the house if you like to get out. I'm a homebody, so I stay in my room with my dogs and rest my back. LOL Hang in there, I know it's frustrating. I'm about to have a heart attack and eat an entire bag of chocolate! Hopefully if you retreat and are silent, DH won't call you a bitch. Don't give him any ammo by saying anything to him, don't give SD any food by buying it. I make my DH do all of the grocery shopping because my back is so bad. It's killing me right now because I was the last one standing when we decorated the tree last night. Ain't life grand?

~ Moon

My husband gets really defensive whenever I mention something my SD has done as well. If she leaves her dirty plate on the table after eating, I'll tell him to tell her to clean it up (I try not to tell her to do too much anymore because I'm "mean"). He usually gets kind of mad and makes excuses for why she didn't clean it up. It's like he takes everything so personally. He doesn't realize that if she were my bio kid I'd have the same expectations to keep our house clean.

You can share your Amazon prime shipping with up to four people. So they use their credit card but get your prime shipping

That's good to know about Amazon, but I don't feel much like sharing anymore lol. DH and I just had a huge argument. He can't get his kids to do anything because he always forgets, he is lax and he doesn't think it matters. I told him it actually still matters to me because I have a heart and I actually still care a little bit. Especially because I share my home with these morons. I spoke to DH right in front of SD13 as if she weren't even there. I think it's important for a teenager to learn to take responsibility at an early age. We've all seen what SD19 has turned out to be like. SD13 is getting dumber each day. Next thing I know DH comes upstairs to give me shit, and I told him to take a more active role in his parenting.

Oh he didn't like that, but I know he hears me. Loud and clear.

~ Moon