What would you do if BM dies?

I know it is a question in bad taste, but I never actually thought about it. My SIL told me that BM is in the hospital again and it is not looking good. People have been saying she has cancer, pnemonia and some do not even know. But she is in the hospital for sure. BM has been sick before but we never knew. MIL knew but she never told us. So now SS resents us for not helping. That is what I think.

My DH is trying to contact my SS still. He has not responded AT ALL. We want to know how SS is doing through all this. We want to support him but he is still angry at us. In a time like this, should you not forgive all past angers and try to reach out for support? I am still looked at as a witch by my DH's family but I don't give a flying flip. My BS was upset and hurt. That is the only reason that gets to me. But back to the BM. They say she will not be making it much longer. BM is not the nicest of people but I would NEVER wish something so terrible on her. She did raise SS as best as he could. I would feel sad. Mostly for SS. I never actually got to know BM. But I know SS will be very sad. I am praying that BM pulls through this. I know it isnt like me. But no one deserves to go through what she is going through. What would you guys do if BM was dying?

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I'm glad I'm not the only

I'm glad I'm not the only one...LOL!

"In a time like this, should

"In a time like this, should you not forgive all past angers and try to reach out for support?"
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I don't really think it's fair to expect forgiveness based on "a time like this". It's a process & it's one that comes in time. Your SS has to process his anger/hurt in order to be able to forgive...just like any of the rest of us. "I'm sorry" doesn't fix things.

Given the circumstances, he's likely focused on the fact that he may lose his mother more than working through forgiving his dad.

As for what if BM is dying...7 years ago DH & I were facing that ourselves. BM told us she was terminal with 8 months to live. We were sad for the kids & the fact that in her childrens' short lives at that point, she didn't give two shits about being a mother & being there for them. She was, & still is a POS.

As crass as it is, I was counting down the months. Her time was scheduled to be up at Christmas, 2004. For my own sake, I wish I could say I'm glad she pulled through, but as it turns out, she lied about it. That fact alone just makes me more pissed that she didn't die.

I guess God deals with each of us as He sees fit. Perhaps He's seeing to it that she lives her Hell here on Earth.

I would feel bad for SD if BM

I would feel bad for SD if BM died, but that would be it. DH and I would probably allow ourselves a brief little celebratory drink that BM is permanently out of our lives (ok, his life...my life only by association), but DH's conscience would get the best of him and he'd only have concern for SD. Then he'd probably forget she ever existed.

I get how some people might

I get how some people might feel relieved. But since my BM was never that big of a bully, I do not have very strong feelings against her. I would feel absolutely terrible for SS. She acted like a a**hole once in a while but so did my DH. And stormbruin is right, it is selfish of me to expect SS to forgive his father just because his mother is sick. We just need to give him time. I feel pretty sad for SS. He just got the good news for college and his mother was apparently getting better. And now this s****storm happens.

I would be terrified and sad

I would be terrified and sad if BM of SD14 died. Last thing I want to do is deal with an already angsty teen whose mom has passed away. That would be a nightmare.

I would be devastated if BM of SD5 died. She is a great mom and a good person and it would be such an injustice for SD5 to have to grow up without her.

The idea of taking on full time "mom" duty also makes my skin crawl a bit. I would do it....but I know how difficult it would be especially under those awful circumstances.