I don't think so unless 1 call per week is in the order.

I would tell her she can call every other day at a certain time, what is good for you. If she continues to call constantly I would have your attorney write her a letter telling her the times she can call. If she still continues you night have to go to court to stop it.

Good luck.

ignore the texts and phone calls. There is nothing that says she has to talk to daughter everyday. I suggest you set a time every night, or every other night for skids to call--that may alleviate all the constant harrassment once a schedule is set. Can even text her what time they will call each night. If continues, I would keep a log of all times she is calling/texting and times that kids call BM, because if she continues can consider harrassment.

I don't think you should ignore them. It seems like she really does miss her daughter and just wants to talk to her, as evidenced by the lunch visits and practices. I don't know the circumstances as to why she lost custody, so feel free to ignore me. If you feel like this is just a manipulation tactic on BM's part, then by all means do what you need to do. If BM would not allow SD to call you and your DH when she had custody, do what you need to do. If the purpose of the conversations is to upset SD, I would try to control it. But I think setting one phone call a night, after dinner, before bed to say good night is reasonable. I do not have any children of my own, but if I did, and the father and I split, I would be devastated if I was unable to at least tuck my child in to bed each night, much less see or speak to her.

Obviously numerous calls and texts a day can be disruptive. I would let BM know that SD will call her before bed each night. If she calls or texts before the allotted time, send a text back saying SD will call at the appointed time.

We don't answer phone every time BM calls when the skids are with us. Sometimes, it just isn't convenient (during dinner, watching a movie, playing a game, etc..........). As a matter of fact, I consider it an invasion of my privacy and it interrupts MY time with the skids. But we allow skids to call BM WHENEVER they ask to. Sometimes, if we have missed a call from BM we will tell skids to call her. It just depends on what we're doing at that time, but in the beginning, when BM had a new BF, she would rarely call at all and I would sometimes, (after several days), tell the girls that maybe they should call their mom. I USED to be nice like that. Now, you can forget it. BM can take a f-ing leap off the nearest cliff for all I care.

SO what constitues a "reasonable amount"? This is something that my DH and I have been dealing with a lot lately. And it goes to BMs "state of mind".

Here are some questions I would ponder over in talking with your DH:

*When BM calls the children, are her phone calls filled with guilt and emotional abuse? ie, "Mommy misses you so much she just wants to die!" or are they upbeat and happy and POSITIVE for the child?

*Is there any evidence of PAS involved in these incessant phone calls?

*Are these frequent phone calls INTRUSIVE to YOUR FAMILY TIME?

If the answer to any or all of these question is a "yes" then I would definitely put a limit on the calls, especially with SD8.

Ii may sound harsh, but you, in the end, are only protecting the children. Telling BM that she is limited to SPECIFIC times/number of calls in a day is not harsh. Sometimes people need to be taught BOUNDARIES and PERSONAL LIMITS. And if you and your DH do not enforce them now, BM's behavior could get even more intrusive, as it will become habitual for her.

Just something to think about.

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

We've been having phone issues with BM since day one. She would literally call every single day and waste all of our cell phone minutes (SS has a cell phone for emergencies). We ended up having to tell her to call twice a week on specific days/times.

She just lost her job and is staying at home so now she's back to calling everyday because she has nothing better to do and of course she doesn't pay for anything but has no problem wasting our minutes so we're changing the number and she has to call DH in order to talk to SS.

should be reasonable... but, only after considering the things that 5teensathome mentioned. The amount of time per day may vary depending on the age of the child. I believe my custody agreement states a max of 15 min per day. My BS8 usually won't talk to his dad more than 5 minutes though. Usually EH initiates the call. If he doesn't, and BS doesn't ask to call, I'm not necessarily going to suggest it but it's been very rare EH everf missed a day. I get extremely irritated if he ever calls more than once a day.

But, as soon as it begins to interfere with MY time or EH starts saying crap that makes my son want to be with him (like, "hey, I bought you all these cool new toys and they are here waiting for you!"), he'll be cut off!

once in the morning and once in the evening. What ever parent does not have him calls. if the parent with ss is busy, they have ss call back as soon as he is not busy. I really think that this is too much because ss is not away from one parent for more than 2.5 days, but thats what they have arranged...i cant wait for the day when he is old enough to have a cell phone and decide when he does and does not want to talk on his own.

the problem is that bm uses it as a control and this is where we get in to issues. If dh does not call back with in the time she thinks he should...she calls again, even though he tells her to only call once and if he doesnt answer it means ss is busy. Also, bm ususe these calls to interrogate dh as to what where when and who about what we are doing, he now just hangs up on her if she starts to ask....slowly but surely its sinking in to her dense head.