You are here

Let Them!!!

Little Type Amy's picture

Submitted by Little Type Amy on Thu, 06/27/2024 - 1:39pm

Just passing along some quotes for now. Definitely rings true and holds up when facing challenged in StepWorld ( and in other aspects of life too) ....

 

"They might hate you.

They might hate you when you stand up for yourself.

They might hate you when you speak up.

They might hate you for stepping back.

Even if you do it graciously.

Even if you do it kindly.

Even if you do it with love.

They might hate when you create some healthy boundaries. They might hate you for not being who they want you to be.

They might hate you for doing the right thing.

They might hate you, and that’s not easy. It’s tough to swallow and it’s hard not to blame yourself and wonder whether you’re the one in the wrong.

It’s not fun to wonder what they’ll say about you behind your back or what false narrative they might share. And it’s especially painful when they’re able to convince other people to paint you in ugly colors as well.

Listen, this is hard to hear and even harder to do, but let them hate you.

Let them misunderstand you.

Let them blame you.

It’s okay.

It’s not true and you can rest in that truth.

Don’t try to prove yourself or convince them of your intentions. Release it. Let it go.

You know your own heart.

And at least, in the end, you won’t hate yourself.

You won’t hate that you knew yourself. You won’t hate that you stood your ground. You won’t hate that you protected your heart.

You won’t hate that you held onto your integrity.

Their opinions…let them have them.

Because at least in the end, you’ll have you.

Comments

PetSpoiler's picture

Submitted by PetSpoiler on Thu, 06/27/2024 - 3:06pm

Let them, because they're going to anyway.  They're going to stick to their story that paints you as the bad one.  Some of them will do that because they don't want to admit that they're in the wrong, or if it's not them, then the person they're siding with is in the wrong.  

The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.  

Little Type Amy's picture

Submitted by Little Type Amy on Mon, 07/01/2024 - 9:13am

Exactly..another mantra to  keep in mind for sure!  I also have to remember that  people who choose to be Upset and butthurt ..arent  necessarily upset with YOU. They are just upset because your boundaries mean they can no longer do  what they got used to getting away with because they were benefitting back when you used  to let everything slide without calling them out on their BS..hence why you become the bad guy instantly 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 06/27/2024 - 3:33pm

It's all your fault.  You did it, or this or that.    You did not give them enough $.   And a 6 month old cell phone.   You didn't get there hair,done, nails done.    They had to go to the beach in last years swimming suite.   You told them they could not order surf and turf at that restaurant.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 06/27/2024 - 6:05pm

They are going to do them no matter what anyway, though I am not a "Let them" guy. I am more of a  they do what they want and I "don't let them"  do it uncountered guy.  To do that I just don't tolerate their crap and I broadcast the facts, the truth, and reality.  Over time they quiet down quite a bit. At least for a while. When they choose to crawl out of their hole and restart, I am there with the facts.

This minimizes their ability to draw others into their delusion, this forces them to feel the consequences of their choices, and IMHO gives them the best opportunity to recover.  As slight as that opportunity may be.

I still have the truth, I still know my own heart, I still have my integrety, and I still have me.

They and everyone else also know all of these things whether they choose to admit it or not.

They can hate me all they want, they will not be allowed to do it without the consequences of a full frontal collision with the facts, truth, and reality.  Over, and over, and over again as often as they choose to do the dance. My dance card always has room to bust a move to the music of the facts.  My recovery time is fairly short with little to no regret other than for their sad commitement to toxicity. Their recovery is nearly always very long and often never ending if they make any effort at all.  Which often they never do.

Just my thoughts of course. 

Little Type Amy's picture

Submitted by Little Type Amy on Fri, 06/28/2024 - 10:05am

"My dance card always has room to bust a move to the music of the fact" Love this and I think I may also adopt this as my motto

The Let Them theory ( at least in my interpretation) doesnt necessarilty  mean NOT holding these toxic people accountable and letting things slide. Kind of the opposite actually.  My take on that also to stand your ground, take no shit, and know when some people need a harsh dose of reality. As in, getting to a point where I no longer have the energy to sugar coat and tell people what They Want to Hear. If anyone has a problem with that,,,thats when I say LET THEM be pissed about that too. 

And you are so right on in that These People are just going to do whatever They want no matter what I say or do..or not. Meanwhile, I choose to also carry on with my own life the way I see fit..and I become the villian in the StepSpawns story. Thats nothing new to me and Ive gotten to where that is fine with me. LET THEM make me the bad guy if thats what they want. . Thats been par the course in StepHell for me for years anyhow. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 06/28/2024 - 11:42pm

I apprieciate your interpretation.  They are going to do what they do. We can't stop them, so let them does have merit IMHO.  If they face the consequences of their choices.  That, is where holding them accountable comes in.

IMHO of course.