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Teenager all night in the living room?

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Submitted by lily11 on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 8:23am

Would you be ok with a teenage boy setting up his play station and staying up all night in the living room playing games?

DH doesn't understand why I won't allow this. Our two story house is hotter upstairs than downstairs and DH claims that the TV and play station being on all night long is making it hot upstairs so that he can't sleep. So without asking me if it's ok, he moved the play station downstairs and told him to just play there all night instead.

Am I the only person who thinks this is ridiculous? Am I being unreasonable?

How do you cope with feeling ignored?

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Submitted by lily11 on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 8:44am

I feel like I'm being really childish. I feel resentful because now that ss16 is here DH spends most of his time with ss16 and unless I want to do what they're doing all the time, I'm pretty much on my own. I really resent it and find myself acting childish and almost petty. I'm not usually like this. Having ss16 here brings the worst out in me:/

Is it just me?

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Submitted by lily11 on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 3:35pm

At the risk of sounding like both an evil step mother AND an evil mother...

Is it just me or does anyone else ever feel really fed up with their kids?

I love my DD22 and SS16, I truly do. I want the best for them, I want them to be happy. I also wish I could have a better relationship with both of them.

But lately, I don't like either of them.

I am always the bad guy. My daughter says she would like a better relationship but the reasons we aren't are always my fault. It doesn't matter how hard I try, it never changes.

He's Back

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Submitted by lily11 on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 3:21pm

SS16 has been here about 5 days. So far it's ok. He's been pretty polite for the most part. I've been much more direct with him than I used to be. But I can see that he's slowly pushing at those boundaries in order to see how far he can go. I used to not see when it was starting and then I would emotionally react after he had the tension level cranked so high my nerves were completely frazzled. I have figured out from past visits that it takes about 2 weeks and he tends to take over the entire house.

When they start to take over

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Submitted by lily11 on Sat, 03/17/2012 - 7:56am

ss15 has been here for spring break and within 5 days I felt he had already taken over the house.

DH thinks I am letting him take over because I just leave the room when, for example, he takes my seat on the couch, takes over the remote control and even takes my dog who I usually sit with on the couch. Sounds silly, I know... But I get completely edged out.

Much Better But What Next

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Submitted by lily11 on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 3:40pm

Reading over my last blog I am amazed at how much progress DH and I have made. I must admit, I need to tell DH right away how much I appreciate how hard he has worked to build a stronger marriage and shut BM out completely. He has almost nothing to do with her now. He has done a wonderful job with that and I have not told him enough how much I appreciate it. I am proud of the improvements we have made in our marriage. We have worked really hard and even the marriage counselor recently said we've got a great relationship which surprised us both considering the rough times we've had.

Things are calming down again, for now

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Submitted by lily11 on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 12:48pm

Drama continues with ss15 & BM but DH is handling it so much better now. It's definitely a change and I hope it can continue this way. He doesn't respond to her texts, emails and phone calls anymore. He says there is no reason to have communication unless it's necessary to make ss15 travel arrangements or it's some type of emergency. He doesn't become angry when she tries to harrass him - this used to lead to conflict between me and DH. He ignores her and she does actually go away. For a little while.

Learning to Control Emotions

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Submitted by lily11 on Tue, 09/06/2011 - 8:10am

The same things just keep happening over and over... it's madness.

I'm trying to emotionally separate myself from the drama with ss15 and his mother. I honestly feel I would be a much, much better source of support to DH if I were not so emotionally wrapped up in this. I get so upset when BM is harassing DH - that has decreased significantly, however. With much insistence on my part, DH very RARELY even responds to a text message from her much less talk to her. I have to admit things have been much more peaceful on that end.

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