Ya, it's been awhile, but get this
Hi all, how are you? Alright, lets begin by considering something. A little definition that can change a lot of lives. It called a "parent". That's right, what is a parent? Well,Webster says" 1 a: one that begets or brings forth offspring b: a person who brings up and cares for another. So what does beget mean well, according ot Webster 1 : to procreate as the father : sire 2 : to produce especially as an effect or outgrowth. So, according to these definitions, if you bring up or care for another, you are a parent. Also, only a father can beget a child. So what does this mean? It may mean that fathers have more rights than initially thought. It means that if you care for or bring up a child, you are a parent. That means that the same laws that apply to the sperm and egg donor apply to you when the child is in your care. Do you truly want to be held responsible for their behavior without attempting to first control it? Here's what I tell my oldest SS, "if you can't control your behavior yourself, I'll control it for you." Simple as that. It's not so simple to control it, but by the grace of God, or whatever you believe in, I'll try until I die! ANd so should you. You're the parent, the adult, the rule maker. Those kids should know that if they want anything they had better be nice to the bonus parent!
What do you think?
- laughterandtears's blog
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Comments
It HAS been a while...
and I'm so glad to see your smiling (kitty) face....
I agree with "parenting" a child while he/she is in your care, I'm just done being concerned how they treat others, I'm only concerned how they act in my own home.
This past weekend, SD11 attempted to use her little smart mouth when I implemented some advice on her breakfast dilemma (everything is a dilemma in her little mind)and I stopped her dead in her tracks. I explained to her that she can talk to her mom and dad and her teachers or whoever like that but I will not allow her to talk to me that way. I don't deserve it and I reminded her that if she wants my respect than she better treat me with the same.
It worked. She apologized. We as stepparents are under NO obligation to do a thing for these kids, so if they want our respect and help (and $ and rides and nursing when sick and new shoes and family trips and so on and so on) they better treat us the way we deserve to be treated. That's how I see it.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Thank you Sugar
You know how it goes, nothing much going on the sk's behavior, which they wouldn't have if I had raised their smart little rear ends from birth, and so I got busy, oh so very busy.
I agree with how you see it (obviously) and I think that if nothing else, as a person, a human being, we have a right to be treated as such!
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
That's what I thought
Going into this for some reason I just assumed I was a person, who mattered, and was just as responsible for contributing as the other 2 parents . . . I was disabused of that notion pretty fast! except when its time to plan or pay for something, grrrr.
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
Isn't it amazing
How quickly dreams can be stamped out? You know what, though, sugar? I just know your dreams are still smoldering! No one has what it takes to put them out completely!! Next time it's time to plan something, simply say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I already have plans for that day" paying for something? Consider it a loan, complete with a contract. Ex-spouses get really irritated when you hand them a bill for caring for THEIR children. But hey, don't all babysitters get paid?
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
I agree 100%
That's pretty much how it's always worked in my house. I may not be their mother, but I am one of the parents in this family and they've always known that what I say goes just like with their dad and mom.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
That's how it should be!
Seriously! Ahem... I mean if that's okay with you?
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~