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Trying to deal with BM is tearing me and my FDH apart.

kimmy77's picture

Both of my FDH kids - 6 & 3 live with BM. They live an hour from us so we only get to see them every other weekend. I have BS9 and BD5. They live with us all the time since their father lives out of state.

BM is constantly stirring up problems. She keeps claiming that my BS9 is mean to SD6. Saying the children didn't get returned in the same clothes (including socks). She is contantly changing times and places on where to meet on fridays and sundays. She is always sending text and emails to FDH about the children - about silly stuff - stuff that doesn't matter.

About 8 months into my relationship with my FDH, He and I broke it off for a few weeks and them two got back together. He soon realized that they divorced for a reason and he and I have been back together for a little over a year now.

I don't know if her constant problem making is just to interfere with our relationship and drive me crazy?? Or is she just a true pain in the ass.

OH... another thing... she HAD to have at home, water births with both kids. She doesn't believe in medicine and didn't have either child vacinated. Well now... FSD6 has been in the hospital several times for stomach issues, fevers, etc... and NOW BM has FSD6 going to a shrink because their divorce has "tramatized" her. Even though she is always perfectly healthy and wonderful at our house. If either of the children sneeze.. she rushes them to a dr. WHAT on earth?

BM has caused so many issues and fights. I just don't know if its going to get any better. I don't know how to deal.

Comments

kimmy77's picture

She has "free" insurance and doesn't pay a dime. Yes... skids not being vaccinated does worry me. Especially since they are around my children and they always seem to have at least a runny nose. But what can i do? Nothing about that. BM wont even let them get flu shots. I can't bain them from my house.

I know its his battle. But you hit the head of the nail when you said he wont stand up to her. And yes.. that makes me so upset. She will be on the other line screaming and calling him names, calling ME names, etc... and he doesn't stand up for himself or for me.

Im not sure if im up for the battle. I mean... FDH and I are awesome together. Everything is GREAT! We get along, enjoy the same things, we talk, everything is great. They're only two things we ever fight about and thats BM and Money. The money part i think is normal. And its more like "discussing". But the constant worry about whats next is driving me nuts.

somerg's picture

What does the decree dictate for transportation? normally, if it's unstated, it's understood (in oklahoma) dad picks the children up at the children's home at 6 or school/daycare (depending on your county) and mom picks them up at 6 when its time to come home (or dad takes them to school/daycare monday morning.

go by the decree so there is a schedule that is followed and quit letting her dictate otherwise, the police CAN enforce a decree but not a verbal agreement