I am so frustrated with this whole thing I don't even know where to start. Just a briefing to start I am a SM/BM my SD will be 7 next month, BD is 2 and i am expecting in November. My DH has full custody of SD and she lives with us since school ended before that she lives with M.I.L and we fought in court for her the whole 3 years total she was there. We also had visits the whole time she was living with MIL. SD doesn't listen to a word I say when DH gets home from work she acts like she is scared to death of me but when she is home all day with me she hugs me, tells me she loves me etc.I am trying really hard to show her that she is loved just as much as BD. The thing she doesn't understand is she is 7 and BD is 2 so its hard to treat them the same because they are not capable of the same things. I treat them with the same love and affection. M.I.L treated SD like a 2 year old so its making things harder on me for the transition from MIL house to our house. At our house I already have a 2 year old and need SD to act her age and I refuse to let her walk all over me and do things that BD isn't aloud to do in our house. Last summer we (DH &I) went to counseling with MIL and FIL to go over things so we were all on the same page with the rules we give to SD so the future transition wasn't so hard and everytime I said we did something at our house MIL would say yeah we do that to at my house. Well come to find out and well we pretty much knew already that she was lying cause SD gets to our house and tells us she doesn't have to do anything over at MIL house she can do just about whatever she wants when she wants and doesn't have to clean up after herself or anything. So now I am the bad guy for making her make her bed, hand her shirts up, brush her hair and teeth and clean up after herself. We were told last summer she had a bed time of 9 pm so we made her bed time 9 pm and she can watch a movie for 30min then the TV goes off. well now iam a bad guy for that cause she has a bed time. Every night and day me and DH are fighting cause the these things. Now MIL wants to come pick up SD for the weekend which is fine but it went from Friday-Sunday night to Thursday Am-Sunday night they didn't ask for my BD to come over there. BD is granddaughter just as much as SD. I said something to Dh about BD being upset cause she already saying I go to MIL house since her sister (SD) is talking about going and now i am the bad guy having to tell he no she can't and DH is mad cause I don't want them to come get her Thursday when he at work I at least want to wait till her gets home. I have had issues with them in the past but put that behind us for the kids sake mostly SD so she didn't feel like she wouldn't ever get to see them again. I am trying all i feel i can to not be the bad guy but don't know what to do.