Hi! I'm new and this is my first post. I'm really in need of some support here. I'll do my best to keep this short-ish and to the point, but can't make any guarantees.

I have 2 children from previous relationships, a step son and a baby with my husband. All boys. We've been married for almost 2 years. I quit work 2 weeks before baby arrived (he is now 11 mo) and have been staying home with the 2 youngest all this time. The baby and my 4 yr old. I have worked since I was 14 and was a single mother for 10 yrs before marrying. I am now 30. Part of my issues, I think, stem from the fact that I'm used to being THE parent.

I am sooo fed up right now. My hubby treats my kids (even the one that's OURS) like crap and when his son comes to visit we all must treat him like a highly honored guest and the kids a total brat (coached mostly by his BM) (BM-lol, biological mother, bowel movement) anyway, the kid is an angel when he has to stay with me, but when daddy comes home he turns into whiney spoiled brat. My 4yr old LOVES this kid and all SS (just turned 8 btw) is beat him and refuses to play with him or acknowledge his existance unless trying to get him in trbl. He is always successful. My 4 yr old has a gi disorder that has made it a struggle for him to grow so he is tiny. SS is 2.5xs his size. He hurts him allllll the time and if my BS4 hits back, SS8 bursts into tears and BS4 gets in trbl. My husband always yells at him to shut up, sit down, makes him "nap" all the time and has taught him to NOT share by screaming at him if he touches the babys toys. "they aren't his" he needs to play with "his own" stuff. And my BS4 tries so hard to talk to my hubby and get him to play with him or be pleased by his actions. He apparently can't do anything right. He's never good enough....and he is sick. No diagnosis yet but will be going to a childrens hospital soon to see a specialist. STepsons mother called tho to share the news that SS has flat feet, and hubby wanted SURGERY to fix it!!! What?! Get the kid some decent, supportive shoes instead of the flat, cat piss soaked skater shoes his mother makes him wear!!!

Hubby screams at baby too and if he cries for any reason he "is going to bed". Hence I never sleep cuz babys always up half the night.

I also have an older son, 11 that stays with my parents (even longer story) and he now refuses to come over to our house because of hubby.

My husband works the same job/hours he has worked since we met. His daily life/routine is virtually unchanged other than there's some extra ppl floating around when he gets home and he now has a maid. He gets pissed if I haven't put his clothes away. He can't find anything to wear when it's all folded neatly on the coffee table. I don't have the time or energy to do EVERYTHING. Since I stay home now (because I only made enough to pay childcare if I worked) the house and children are my responsibility. Ok. But he doesn't even TRY to help out around the house....unless SS is here. Then he acts like a father. Otherwise, his ass is planted in front of the tv or in bed and he's screaming at the little ones. We never, and HAVE never, done anything as a family whether SS is here or not. I'm wore out. Tired. Bitter. I can't believe I've ended up disliking any child but I really can't stand how this boy is more important than everything else. SS doesn't even like his dad as far as I can tell because of the crap his mother fills his head with.

My BS4 calls my hubby "dad" for he doesn't know his own. I'm tremendously bothered by this. I want to leave my husband so badly.

My oldest sons child support just got raised slightly. Since then, my hubby has stopped giving me $ to go to the store with. My ex feeds me and the little ones and the child that $ is supposed to go to doesn't even visit. My husband says I've got a roof over my head, running water, elec and a car that works (my brakes went out and it's the only vehicle we have that I can transport more than 1 kid in) because of him. I feel so bad. What am I supposed to do?

I'm so sorry. I sound rather pathetic don't I? I feel so beat down. I feel like I've put my children in a really bad situation and can't save them. I want to go back to work just to be able to leave my hubby.

Thanks for reading this rambling. It's just a sampling of my hell.