Just a little update

Well it's been about 2 weeks since the weekend from hell, well actually it was like a month long drama fest with SD and BM since Christmas. DH has not talked to SD15 since he sent her his last text saying he would not continue to go back and forth with her and hear her just blame him or me for basically everything . SD kept texting after that and she even accused me pretending to be DH and texting her because of course DH would never say such thing ! She really needs help, DH finally Had enough of years and years of horrible behavior. It has been the most peaceful 2 weeks!I am looking forward to another drama free Weekend with out SD!

JustanotherSM17's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

I was an obnoxious brat at 15

I was an obnoxious brat at 15 (weren’t we all?) but unlike your SD, my nonsense was not tolerated. The girl has far too much power in her relationship with her father, sadly encouraged by her BM, aunt and grandmother. Your least stressful response to the chaos that she creates is to disengage from her completely.

It's understandable that SD feels rejected by her dad; after all, her mother, grandma and aunt keep telling her so! She’ll never apologize so you can forget about that happening any time soon. However, I think that it might be a good idea for your DH to take her out for a movie and a meal, just to let her know that she’s still important to him. He can explain, one on one, that he loves her and, at the same time, discuss how her hurtful behaviour affects them both.

Yes!

Back in the day brattiness was not tolerated.

Same for me. If i misbehaved

Same for me. If i misbehaved i was grounded or no fun time with friends or pager so we do not reward bad behavior in this house until some sort of remorse is offered. Same even with my younger child, when you misbehave they say they are sorry or time out in the corner

SD is not a young child. She is a young woman.

She is living the consequences of her choices. Dad's FAFO lesson is exactly right IMHO. He also needs to give her clarity that her BM,grandma and aunt, are PASIng harpies and SD needs to learn to use her own brain based on reality rather than sniffing the toxic emanations of the toxic harpy tag team. TIme to overwhelm her with the facts and reality regarding the toxic opposition in this blended family dynamic.

She won't have any chance of gaining clarity without the facts being presented to her regularly and clearly. If this isn't done, she will be their victim not just for the next 3 years but as an adult until they pass. By then, too late is far more likely than not to be the case.

IMHO of course.

Yup that is why DH is

Yup that is why DH is sticking to what he said . No treats or special outings for here . He said what he needs to say in which she did not acknowledge any of it so until then it's gonna be crickets

Congratulations. And, yea, I

Congratulations. And, yea, I remember getting blamed for EVERYTHING DH did not do to appease the toxic trolls. I was even accused of intercepting a nasty-gram via US mail when DH had received it and hid it from me because it (intentionally) arrived on our first anniversary.
Hopefully, your peace lasts!

Yea it appears that SD only

Yea it appears that SD only wants a dad when it benefits her, this is the same attitude with BM. SD15 wants a dad who caters to her, come around only for gifts and all the rewards but when it comes to DH actually parenting her when she does bad then she becomes a victim and opts out . This is the same thing BM does when DH does not do actually what she says, she only wants her monthly payment and wants him to cater to SD but no parenting

SD would not be welcome in my home

After her outburst. SD doesn't like you, it's your home SD is not welcome over. DH can see her at McDonalds. DH screwed up his relationship, it's on him not you. Someone doesn't like me. Good one less ungrateful person I have to deal with

100000 agree

I agree with grannyd that

I agree with grannyd that your husband needs to actually talk to his daughter, one on one, texting just does not cut it. Then, you cannot be blamed for texting on his behalf.

But just how many

Rug pulls will that be? Chef was stood up at least 3 times by the Animal Torturer SD when he tried his failed reunification attempt with his ferals. All at the behest of the Girhippo of course. Phone calls were never answered and always went to voicemail. Postal mail always came back Return to Sender unopened except for maybe a few steamed open envelopes by the Girhippo.

Yup , SD does not answer his

Yup , SD does not answer his calls. He has had many many many one on one conversations about her behavior and it amounted to nothing so he is trying another tactic

But phone

calls with someone irate have the habit of getting away from you and things up more of a mess than before. I realize it's not exactly the same but I had to refuse to have any in person or phone conversations with my ex when we separated for an entire year because he just wanted to rehash everything and things kept getting out of control. Email gave me the opportunity to read his crap when I felt like it and ignore if I wanted.

I think phone conversations at this point would be counterproductive because SD wants drama and this would give her the opportunity to scream at her father and hang up on him. Plus you'd have the added fun of BM in the background.

In person would also be complicated because it's not like she can meet him somewhere without being chauffeured which would set up a clash with whoever drove her there. And if the plan was to pick her up at BM's then he'd have her to deal with her plus the distinct possibility that she would refuse to come. All of these options run the risk of creating more drama and discord.

Maybe just taking some time and really thinking it through about what DH wants the outcome to be and how to get there would be better than just talking for the sake of talking, especially given how his family thrusts themselves into his relationship with SD. And maybe he just needs a break from it.

You don't want SD to feel unloved but at the same time it sounds like she's really overstepped with her father and might benefit from realizing that even parents aren't willing to be your punching bag, at least not forever.

Calls with out of control ranting irate people are so much fun.

Just laugh at them, egg them on with snarky little ass baring comments and let them lose their pea sized minds. While recording it all of course. For public consumption at the next court hearing or to play for the Skids on their next visit.

Don't lose your temper, keep chuckling happily which drives them nuckin futz, and drop the occasional inflammatory comment just to keep them spun up.

Calls with out of control ranting irate people are so much fun.

Don't lose your temper, keep chuckling happily which drives them nuckin futz, and drop the occasional inflammatory comment just to keep them spun up. As long as they keep going with the rant, keep egging them on.

Have fun.

Keep those boundaries!!! You

Keep those boundaries!!! You and DH will not be split. He needs fo have your back no matter what when it comes to her or his family.

Enjoy your peace. Don't say a thing. If anyone brings SD up to you- let them know you have removed yourself from the drama.

I did leave a comment

I did leave a comment yesterday on your Confrontation at Dropoff blog, because man can I relate to this teen girl drama. But if you're like me, I don't usually go back and check comments on previous blogs. I was even accused of sending messages as DH, by both SD15 and Crazy. DH absolutely needs to have your back and the only way to keep your sanity is to try to stay as far removed as possible, and do not engage with her.

You are here

Comments