Cried so hard I puked
I have been married to my husband for a year now. I get along with his ex very well. We even try to figure out how to get the kids behavior in check. They have been very rude to me and I am now making progress with SSon, SD is trying to get step son to be mean but he saw me cry today and is seeing whats going on. She even erased the both of their phone numbers from my phone. I have been kind, bought them nice things, taught them music(I`m a musician)I`ve done everything. I have a heart condition so I get very upset and it can be dangerous. I cannot have my own children and I thought I was going to have a great relationship with her because we got along so well when we first met.But now I am broken hearted. She`s just awful to be around and a miserable girl. She wants to stay with her mom. Thank God! I need a break. I am just so depressed and hope less right now and feel like I have failed. Thank God I just found this site.How do I disengage for my own health and sanity? Any advice?
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Sounds like you only need to
Sounds like you only need to disengage from SD, so when they're about don't initiate a conversation with her, but do with SS, don't discipline her, just show that you couldn't care less about what she's doing. However I think you do need to remain polite & obviously reply to direct questions, but don't bother asking her how school was etc.
Others here have disengaged from skids (whereas I've not had to) so I'm sure someone else will eb along in a while with more advice
I know that you feel
I know that you feel heartbroken because of what is going on with your sd. However, you will just have to let that go. She is not going to change anytime soon. I gave up on having a relationship with my sd because she just was too angry at everything and I do believe she blames me for it all. I tried to do what I could and she only took it wrong. So, I decided that for my sanity and my health, I had better do what I had read others had to do. Maybe someday in the very distant future she and I might manage to be friends but I am not going to hold my breath! I have been in my situation for over 10 years. Besides, what goes around, comes around!
How old are both of your
How old are both of your skids? And how often are they in your home?
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Thank you soooo much! All of
Thank you soooo much! All of you guys. I feel like I`m not crazy. My skids are 14 and 13. SD14 SS13. I have decided to disengage like you said, I just didn`t know the way to. Thanks for being specific. I am very interested in more input on disengaging tactics. Please tell me more! I am grateful I found this site.