You know what, he's the dad, and it is his call. It is not your place to tell him how to parent. However, if his parenting skills,or lack thereof are causing you grief in your life or relationship, then that you have a right to deal with. I have a funny feeling you are talking about a baby or a very little one here and these are the easy days, God help you, this little one, will not always be so cute and helpless and you absolutely not alwys be so EXCITED along with the good comes the bad.

But just as you have no right to go next door and tell some other kids parents how parent, you don't have any rights here, belive me, I know you think you do, but you don't. You have a right to be treated with respect in your home, you have a right to peace in your own home, and you are entitled to demand that, if your BF won't bring his child up this way, you have a right to leave or tell him to go, but you have no right to tell him how to parent. Welcome to the world of steparenting, you have to be responsible and keep the child safe, you may have many sleepless nights, you may even change nappies, but you are not and never will be this child's motherm even if you act more like a mother than her real mother, you don't get to decide how she will be parented. Think about this before your committment gets even deeper you have chosen a very rocky path here. Also, this child you are so excited about is just that a child, not a doll, she is a blank slate for her parents to right on, two parents will stuff it up, she sure as hell doesn't need 3, and if BM gets a partner 4. Leave the parenting to the parents, by all means if it effects you, tell him how YOU feel and how it affecting YOU, but do not tell him HOW to do it.

If you aren't agreeing now, good luck.

Yeah i started dating my ex when I was 24 we just broke up and he has two kids . I has the same
Problem in the beginning and I wish I saw the signs. We just broke up because of them . Read my last blogs. Get it straightened out now .

If you have parenting issues and differences with him now because of HIS kid, imagine if you were to have your own??? What, you are 21? Run!

I was 21 when I first started being a dating my now husband and his daughter was 6. Very Very hard and I don't wish it upon my worst enemies. Although love is amazing and what not, I have to agree with herewegoagain, RUN. I wouldn't do this all over again, even though I love my husband so much. It is not worth is, especially if you are having parenting issue troubles. It only gets worse. This may not be what you want to hear, and if someone had told me when I was 21 I may not have listened, but I'm 26 now and I wish I had some, okay most, days.

Yeah, mom's do more of the heavy lifting in child rearing. You don't have the power in this relationship to be the hard ass. Sorry. It's go w the flow or yo out de door. Even though you're right, you aren't gonna change him. He's set in his ways.

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On your other post you said we are being harsh. If you want us to all group hug and sing KumByYa this is not the place.

You think this is so awesome and so much fun what are you looking for from us? We have walked in your shoes already. We are giving you a wealth of experience. It is your choice whether to accept it or not. But we have been there, we have been starry eyed and 20/21. We know how it is. And you have no idea how things will be in a few years but we do. We are already there.

You cannot mother her. You legally have no right to her. If she got sick and needed emergency surgery you cannot sign ANYTHING to permit surgery. You can't even take her to her doctor for her annual physical and sign authority. And even if you were legally married to this man you couldn't.

Your SO need to step up and be a parent. He needs to read books and not parent reactively but proactively.

Your SOs daughter is 14/15. She is boy crazy. Get over it. In 5 years time she will be living with a 30 yr old. But then he will be amazing and awesome just like your SO. One thing i learnt as a single parent (between my divorce and remarriage) was ALWAYS maintain your own financial independence. Always. I just don't see it happening in your case. Probably because he is so amazing.

Listen to their advice. I would run as fast as possible and enjoy being 21. Run, don't walk, run...as fast as you can!

Hey! I'm 21 too! Our SOs sound very similar. He wants to be chill but I want them to learn a second language as well as an instrument by 10. What I've found is that I don't ask my SO. His child lives in my house, eats my food, watches my TV, has an influence on my child so there is no way in hell that I'm not going to have an opinion on how this child is raised. Assert yourself!

I'll say it again
ASSERT
YOUR
SELF!!!!!!!!

I feel like that's a big problem with alot of sm, they think they don't have the right or the responsibility to assert themselves in their own houses. There is no fucking way in hell a three year old is going to tell me what he is or isn't going to do. There is no fucking way someone is going to come into my house and tell me what my child and I are going to do. Put them in their place. Which is below you!

Honestly, my SS and I have a great relationship. And I really do think it's because I have clear, consistent expectations of him. I also expect my son to do the same. There are no favorites. There are no loopholes. You do it my way or I'm going to fucking make your life terrible.

My favorite thing to tell him, and this is kinda rude, but whatever is "I am meaner than you will ever be and I'm twice as stubborn as that." I have expectations. Follow them and we'll be cool, don't follow them and your ass is grass.