I'm beginning to realize that both my ex and my DH are Disney dads. The kids BM is also a (neglectful) Disney mom. It's really frustrating, and I feel like I'm the only one in the equation who is doing any actual parenting.

My ex is a full-on Disney Dad to my BD - she is a handful, and he just caves and gives her anything she wants. He pretty much ignores my BS, so I am forced to be the bad guy, the motivator, and the only one who sets and applies consequences, and I do it all, not for him, but because I want my kids to grow up to become functioning, decent adults.

That is exhausting, and so I just don't have the mental or physical energy to parent my skids as well. My kids have chores, but my skids don't. My kids ask why, and all I can say is that life is not fair, and I am raising them to be adults. My skids don't bathe, or clean, or do any activities. My DH says "they need a break" when they are here (from the BM?) so he asks nothing of them. They are here 50% of the time, which is a LOT of time to be doing absolutely nothing except making a huge mess that I (and my kids) then clean up.

I am disengaged to varying degrees with my skids - the oldest two are smelly and lazy and stay in their rooms almost all the time. The littlest one is more social, and needs (and somewhat accepts) my parenting, and for now, I am willing to do some parenting with her - she is not a complete lost cause yet!

I tried hard for two years to be engaged and parent and set limits and enforce chores, but I get no back up and no support.

They just showed up for the week, and I am hiding in my room, dreading it...