You are here

Grrrrr.... DH rant

I love dogs's picture

SD has been with us since Saturday afternoon and we assume that she will be with us until at least Friday. BM is dragging her feet about agreeing to a solid 50/50 (who couldn't see that coming?). This week is SD's spring break.

Anyway, the real issue is DH. He has been getting off work earlier to be with SD since I am working evenings. SD stays by herself with the dogs between 4 and 7 hours. All 3 evenings I've worked this week, they are eating out! DH was just telling me last week we need to be "frugle."

Tonight it's Applebees. Last night it was Chili's and he and SD both complained how horrible the service was. Monday it was sushi- at least he took the $5 off coupon we had.

My point being: do I have to do ALL of the meal planning? I get he's tired and all, but how hard is it to fry up or boil some potatoes and make burgers or salisbury steak? SD is even willing to help him! I guess I have to spend my mornings making sure I have something for dinner since he doesn't care to have anything for leftovers and I won't buy dinner every night. I made a big grilled chicken salad and have been eating that and I had 4 day old leftovers on Monday. I can't eat out like that. Honestly, he's getting fat because he eats fast food during the week and when I'm working evenings. I'm not unattracted, but he can look better.

All of our bills are paid, including rent, but I can't freaking stand when he "reminds" me to he frugle and has spent $80+ for dinner for 2 in only 3 days! Ugh!

I work again tomorrow evening and SD's friend is sleeping over. Any guesses where they'll eat out tomorrow? Hopefully pizza and subs.. At least that's "cheap".

Comments

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I hate how all bets go out once the kids come over but I'm just as guilty as my partner is. We can be so carefull all week. I'll stock the fridge with meals for everything. Then lunch time Saturday rolls around and I'm just as bad as him for saying lets just go out.

Thankfully my partner is an even better cook than I am but I know that's not normal. Maybe don't even make him cook and just go get freezer meals? Most times if we go out to eat the youngest always gets chicken nuggets anyways so I always make sure we have a bag of them in the freezer. I know it's not the healthiest but I've he's gonna eat it at the restrant anyways might as well save the money and just stay home.

As it is there are some pretty healthy options in the stores anyways depending on what you like. I can get premade salads, sandwhiches, and the like near the fruits and veggies. They are more expensive then making our own but less than a restrant.

I love dogs's picture

We have stuff at the house that are side dishes- mac n cheese, potatoes, canned sweet corn, etc. I am also guilty of wanting to eat out instead of cooking and I hope they are bonding. I just know we can't handle that if she truly is with us 50%!!

Like I said, maybe I am just jealous that I had to eat a homemade salad instead of something from Applebees. At least they aren't eating McDonald's.. SD gets burgers and doesn't eat the fries so she is eating semi-healthy. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

I don't think you're jealous. I think you are realizing that, if SD lives with you 50/59, your DH will:

  1. Treat her better than he treats you,
  2. Complain constantly about YOUR habits while being a hypocrite about his own,
  3. End up with dad bod with no reason, want, or drive to get better because he's got the "I'm tired from working and being a dad" excuse, and
  4. Put you all back in the poor house like you were around the holidays where you couldn't afford food or anything at all.

I warned you this would happen if your DH didn't commit to changing to a full-time routine. You need to talk to him about this on all fronts. Tell him his habits are expensive. Tell him you're tired coming home to realize that he has bothered to feed his daughter but hasn't thought about you, the woman who helps him pay to feed his daughter. Tell him that you are also tired, but chores still need to be done, food still needs to be made, etc. Tell him this cannot be the long-term solution if SD is going to be over every week because it's unhealthy for both him AND her.

I'll admit that DH and I eat out way more than we should, but when money is tight or my pants don't fit any longer, we tighten up on the spending. We take the boys out frequently, but we also cook frequently. It's about balance, and right now your DH is showing you that when SD is around, there is no balance. Everything will be about her and how he can make her presence more fun and convenient for HIM, to Hades with how it inconveniences YOU.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Lt Dad...

Totally crushing on you!!

Simpleton21's picture

Ugh, I was just thinking about how annoyed I am with the "what's for dinner?" question from SO EVERY DAY!  Like I am the only one that can think up dinner ideas or cook dinner!  For some reason though he starts wondering what we are having for dinner even earlier on days we have SD. Like today (his day off work) on his way to pick SD up from school at 2pm he was already asking me what is for dinner....and he is the one at home....he can look in the cupboards and figure something out!  Drives me crazy!    Like he has to tell SD when he picks her up what we will be eating!  I have also noticed that when I get groceries if there is a certain meal he knows SD likes he will try to save that meal for when she comes over.  I don't even know if he realizes he is doing it but it annoys me terribly!  I understand the wanting to cook what she likes when she is there but I feel like he is CONSTANTLY catering to SD with snacks and foods.  In my case it is like he is using food as showing his love for her which I find to be unhealthy.  SD also doesn't make healthy choices despite her announcement recently about only eating salads I have yet to see her eat a salad or pick a healthy snack in my home and I do have salad fixings there.  I recently had to take over finances (something I never wanted to do) because SO was constantly buying her snacks and drinks every time we had her and never having enough left over for BILLS!  I also now wait to go to the store until after SD's weekend visits b/c she will eat any and ever snack she can and the rest of the family won't have much left for the entire week following that the food was intended to last through.  I agree with Lt Dad's points.  It isn't jealousy it is him not respecting that EVERYONE needs to eat in your home and spending that much eating out when money is tight and then telling you to be frugal is highly hypocritical!  SO rarely cooks dinner but when SD is there and "starving" after multiple snacks and wanting to know what is for dinner I tell SO what he can make for her and make him handle it if I don't feel like cooking.