I am considering going back to couples counseling. My DH and I have been to counseling in the past but it has not been very helpful.  Our past counselors were good listeners but nothing from the sessions really helped us to improve things in our marriage. I felt mostly our sessions were just us both talking about our problems and each defending our point of views. My DH think's mostly he is "right' "correct" about most things and I spend the session time feeling in the position of defending my view or how I see things differently.

A follow-up to my post earlier this week when my husband announced he plans to spend at least 4 days every month with his adult kids, for reference they discinclude me so I am not invited to be part of this time away.

He now is planning another 4 day trip to see them only 2 weeks after getting back from the last one. Starting to feel like a lot to deal with!

So my husband announces he wants to spend 4 days a month, every month with his kids. Adult kids and grandchildren. They will not have anything to do with me and most likely glad they don’t have to see me since they have chosen to disinclude and or not deal with me anymore (long story but really no huge issues just I spoke up for once about what I considered some disrespect and instead of us talking about it, they just cut me off). Given that I am not included and am suppose to be okay with it all, and focus on the 26 days I get him every month.

DH argues with me that his kids are not happy with his division of time. He mentions in arguments percentages of time, such as he spends about 80- 85% already with me but his ADULT kids and I guess him as well are upset because he doesn’t spend more time with them and they only get about 20% of his time. Also, we live quite a distance apart from them. Do they expect we should share him 50-50? Seems like it. Usually don’t husbands spend more times with their wife’s then adult kids? I am not invited to be included in any of his time spent seperatly with them.