I think I attack step-parented the other day. Probably did. (Dealing with SD through spouse in an assertive, but perhaps not thoughtful manner...)

My SD totally played me, and I recognize it now, but she really did get me. The funny thing is, even though she manipulated me, I responded in such a way that DH is paying. She announced that she needed a changing table for the little one, and she was going to go buy a cheap one with the "little bit of money" she had saved.

You know she really does need the table. Right now she is changing little one on her bed, and occassionally the pooey diapers make real contact with the sheets, and it is a smelly, disgusting, hard to clean scenario. And frankly, I hate changing little one on the bed, because I am not clever with pooey diapers. The manipulation part - she announced she was going to get a cheap table, because that is all she had "saved" for. (I don't like "cheap" things, and generally advocate saving a little bit more for something reliable over cheap - note, not expensive, just good) One of the things my parents did, and I have done for my DH is reward the saving behavior with a match or partial match of funds for something special or required. I've done this with DH on several occasions.

SD was talking about the new table and what it would cost and how much she had "saved" and all that. And I told her she really needed to get a decent, stable piece of furniture, not something that would shimy and shake when an active one year old was wiggling around on it. (and of course, she doesn't have the money for a GOOD one.) And out of my mouth came the promise that her father would match what what she had saved to get a better table. Usually my mouth is better behaved, but not this time, I guess.

HAHAHAHAHA - Poor man. He came to "talk" to me about it later. As in - why the hell do I think he would spend this money? He didn't think anything better was needed. There wasn't any need for him to contribute, besides, he didn't have it. (He does, but both he and she feel that I should be paying for things.) He will be contributing - the table arrives this week.

The bad part - I let her manipulate me. I know it, she knows it, and DH knows it. The good part - her manipulation is costing DH something. Something he is NOT interested in paying. HHHHMMM shoe is on the other foot. Besides, the changing table will make it easier on me too...