Hi!

I stumbled on this site and feel such relief! I'm not one to talk openly about my step-parenting woes to the people in my life but here I think I can.

My story:

I have 4 great kids who are all grown and on their own. They are 29 28, 24 and 19. I had my children young and raised them to be independent, self-sufficient and well-adjusted adults. I'm extremely proud of all of them. I'm close to all of them, but I'll admit I'm closer with the younger two. They are my girls and the older two are my boys. I think I'm closer to my girls for two reasons. One, they still live relatively close to where I do while my sons live in other states (they are both in the military) AND...mothers tend to relate more to their adult daughters than they do their adult sons. I know exceptions to this, but in my case it's held true.

On to the step-kids...

I live with my DB (Darling Boyfriend) who I LOVE more than I thought possible. He is an extremely sweet and caring man who has been emotionally manipulated by his ex and his three children for many years. He has a son who is 20, a daughter who is 18 and another daughter who is 16. The 16 yo daughter lives with us. The 18 yo lived with us for a short time last year, until she had a melt down after being grounded for 24 hours for breaking a rule. A very important rule, I might add. Although her father administered the punishment, she blamed me and proceeded to scream at me while also berating me. That behavior was an eye opener for her father for she was usually much better at hiding that type of reaction from her father's view. She decided at that point that although her mother was dysfunctional, she'd rather live with her than with me and she moved out. As a note...his 20 yo son lives with his ex (their BM) too. Yes, you guessed it...I hear that my name is right up there with satan in that house.

The 16 yo that lives with us has emotional problems as a result of the home environment she grew up in with her parents. This is a child who wet the bed until the age of 14 is an emotional binge eater who weighs 350 lbs and is the clingiest person I've ever met. She is well behaved, but she is immature for her age and EXHAUSTING. I'm used to independent teenagers and I'm at a loss for how to deal with a teenager who expects us to entertain her, be her BFFs and constant companions. Truth be told, she gets my anxiety going quite frequently. I wish she could live with her mom, but that's not a good environment for her and I feel guilty for wishing it. I can't tell my DB that I'd be happier if she lived with her BM because it would make him feel horrible. DB and his family feel like I've "saved" the youngest as she's improved drastically since moving in with me. They credit the time I spend with her and the type of role model I am for her with her positive changes. All the more reason I can't suggest she move in with her mother.

Although we've only lived together a year, I've got plenty of stories to share. It will be helpful to have a place to share this with and maybe I'll find ideas that will help me cope better with this situation.

I feel like I just finished a "get to know you" therapy session....