frustrated and at my wits end
Okay here's the story my 18 year old step daughter came to live here with her father 6 months ago I was under the impression that she was not going to be living at my home that long. Especially since I told her father that it would be temporary. Not because I didn't want her here but she's subletting my downstairs apartment from my mother and well now my mom wants her place back. Now my mother is being patient but its like time is running out. Let me go back to the beginning within the first week I took her to get a job. She still has this job but she dosent have an id and hasn't had one in all the time she been here her father (before she moved here he would listen to my advice on things dealing with her because my dad wasn't at home alot either I could relate now he's so defensive when I say anything about her) treats her like a girlfriend no other way to say it she has large breasts and will sit in her fathers lap with nipple ialmost in mouth they are fully clothed but come on this incident happened once at my aunts house my mother witnessed it. He let her swear in front of him and he laughs I come home some days and they laying in the bed together her with her booty shorts and take tops she's a double d. They wrestle in the bed together a yes I have told him its worrisome to me she is nastyt no matter how many times he tells her to clean shell dismiss him ill do it later.I tell him to come to bed before 10 because I got. 2 smaller children that go to school and I want to be intimate but he will sit in our livng room with her every night until. 11 or 12 talking she has no friends here and doesnt hang out with anyone and wants her father and me to hang out I'm not her friend I'm a responsible adult with 2 small children I have to tend to sigh so frustrated any advice?
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Wow. This whole thing is
Wow. This whole thing is disgusting. I'm sure if you told him as much, he'd be super defensive. But, seriously. It's disgusting that his grown daughter is sitting in his lap with barely anything covering her body. Wrestling in bed together? Even more strange. Avoiding sex with you to have late night conversations with a teenager? Scary.
I think you need to find a time to calmly tell him all these examples. Start writing them down, if you think he will accuse you of making them up. Tell him that other people have made comments about how inappropriate their relationship seems to be. Tell him that it makes you uncomfortable, and that it embarrasses you.
I would bet money on the fact that SD is enjoying "winning" her dad's affection from you.
A last resort? Have you read the book Stepmonster yet? If not? I would suggest you order it from Amazon RIGHT NOW. Read it... and then make him read it. It talks about dads who treat their daughters as the wife/girlfriend. However... in most of those situations, the kids were little... not grown women.
SHE might need some professional counseling. If she lived away from "Daddy" for a long time, she is trying to compensate somehow. And, I'm sure he loves the attention of it.
I'm sorry. I feel for you. This is SOOOO gross.
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your advice I will check out stepmonster. There is so much more to this story ha I wish it were a story at least I could see an ending it'd b over at some point heck there'd be a break. As of now there is no break for me. Gross now that is an appropiate word.
Extremely creepy. And you
Extremely creepy. And you still want to be intimate with him? That would be such a turn off for me, that I would be reconsidering the relationship. Eeeewwwww. In my head I'm wondering what other creepy stuff goes on, that you don't see him do. But thats just me! I figure if I'm seeing that kind of stuff, Blagh.
Best of luck. I say, she goes, or they both go. And let your Mom have her place back. Esp if its your house. Some battles just aren't worth winning...
Well this morning he was in
Well this morning he was in the bed late and I asked what did you do that was so strenuous last night that he had to sleep until 12 in the afternoon now any other time he'd have shrugged it off but ever since she came here its been a nightmare on stupid srreet. Anyway that turned into an argument that had him saying I'm a let down to him and he told me my family agree now because I have a house and a tenant my mom I make more money in the house second only to my mother. She not here then he told me I was to afraid to speak my mind so I told hin 2 weeks get her an id a car and a new place to live. He works seasonally she does fast food. I've. Been in this relationship for awhile now and this is not the first time I felt like giving up on him and this relationship. I never seen him this passionate about a women before. It hurts.
Just a thought (albeit I did
Just a thought (albeit I did this with my SS11,10 at the time) take pictures!!!!!! Sometimes dense people don't "get it" until you Show them!!! Do you have a cell phone? I used mine & it worked!!! My SS11 will literally push me out of his way so that he could cuddle up on his daddyyyyyy- and it was just sick!!! He's extremely manipulative- sounds like she is too!!! Perhaps he views her still as his "little girl" & is wrongly trying to "make up for lost time" by the playing & cuddling--- BUT-- it's sooooooo very wrong!!! Emotional Incest is what it is!!!!
Does she go apeshit crazy if your by him, or if he's spending time with you? I'd bet she does. Pictures girl- they say a thousand words. ESP if played right!!!! Do you have FB? Is she "friends" with you? If so- id post em on FB- but to keep you outta the line of fire, put some ultra sweet comments on them- like " oh look how cute, they like to cuddle together in bed, isn't that so precious y'all?". Ought a work like a charm, ESP when everyone comments on how they look like lovers instead of father- daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or- kick em both out!!!!
I like the idea about puttin
I like the idea about puttin their behinds on the internet lol I told my mom she all about it. Well it happened today i found inner peace well the start what hurt me about the argument is he said my family say I'm a let down and I let him down so I read back throughsome of the replies and I realized that as hard as I was trying to be intimate with him somewhere at sometime my sexual attractiveness for him went poff I don't see myself wanting him anymore. He murdered it usually I can bounce back but this time I don't have any feelings for him anmore in my heart. I'm not rude to him but if he don't speak to me I have nothing to say and I don't care what him and her do as long as its not in front of my kids. Let me tell you what happened today I went to my moms house this morning around 10 and got back home aound 3:30 after I got my child from school. We have a window to the downstairs apartment he knocks on the windoe to let us know he was downstairs all day in the bed with her watching tv.I don't have cable we watch movies and instead of brng the dvd player upstairs. So she the sd say she got her info in mail today to get her id you think he took her to get it nope she wanted to go get somethings from store and she left something at a relatives house so he asked me if I wanted to go hell no right now I wouldn't ride to a firestation with him if I was on fire. I've become that person who don't care about him or her or whatever they do I don't care because in 30 days she gone and my mom will be moving back in. I feel liberated worring about him and her almost drove me insane and I just stopped caring I'm gonna focus more on me and my 2 children like kevin heart said Imma learn today. and so will he. I really feel good they aren't here ima hang out with my kids all in all it was a good day thank u all for ur support on this gross matter lol but seriously thank u