Am I being unfair?? making him move??
My ss6 is very attached to my hubby and I. he calls me mommy, but in the past has lied to his mother about things that ive said, bm hates me, i hate her.shes a drama queen, a pathological lair and not a very good mother, im tired of her shit, so i decide that its time for my family to move and start fresh, my hubby daughter 4months and I, ss live with his mother we get him 3-4 days a week. my husband is very understanding always takes my side and feels horrible that ive dealt with his ex for 3 years now. so I say to Oregon we move in 11 months... my ss cries everytime we talk about it, but i have already given up too much in these past 3 years I could have gone very far in my career, but I chose him... him not his baggage, I was told at the bigining that I would not have to deal with any of this crap no ex wife nonsense but alas that just was not true, my hubby said ok to the move, but I dont want his to resent me for it later.I think in my heart I just have still not forgiven him for having a child with someone that wasnt me although we were not together then. its odd but i hate it when I realize that our daughter isnt his only child. he is a magnificent father he pays 700dlrs in child support.. so much that I have to buy our baby things because he dosent have the money too, i resent him for that.. it would be so much better if bm could just jump off of a fucking cliff and die.. mean thoughts but its how i feel... am i being unfair?
I dont want to move to just
I dont want to move to just get away from the drama, there is a career op there that would very much help not just my childs future but his as well, since I also help him with money. also we would have him every summer and every other winter break, we bought him a tablet for face to face calls whenever hed like. Thank you for your comment, it just assured me that what im asking for isnt coming from a malicious place.
No, it is not unfair.
No, it is not unfair. Opportunity requires mobility and that can mean moving a Skid visitation schedule from a EOW/EOWE situation for BPs that life near enough to each other to a long distance visitation schedule for those that live far apart (usually 200+ miles in most state visitation regulations).
This is what we had for the 17+ years of the CO we lived under with my SS. My DW was the CP with sole legal and physical custody. The Sperm Idiot (in reality is was Sperm Grandhag) had 9 wks of visitation (6wks summer, 1wk fall, 1wk winter), 1wk spring) until SS was school aged then it dropped to 7 wks (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring). We moved to where the career opportunities were best for both of us with the caveat (chosen by my wife) that we could never move to Oregon or within 200 miles of the Sperm Idiot until SS aged out from under the CO.
This was great for us and the Skid IMHO. It minimized the amount of interface we had with the toxic Sperm Clan as well as limited and focused the amount of behavioral pollution they could generate in my Skid so we could easily identify, isolate, and kill it before it permeated his character and behavior. It is much easier to maintain your household behavioral standards if the Skid is in your home for extended periods of time rather than flipping back and forth between mom's house and dad's house. It was also better for them because they could have dedicated time with the Skid rather than a day here and a day there.
As for Oregon .... it is a good thing your CO is not from there. The Peoples Republic of Sperm Land (Oregon) is highly resident biased in long distance visitation and CS situations as well as highly CP biased. This was good for us because my bride was the CP and also a challenge because when my bride left the state for college she never moved back while Sperm Idiot stayed and mooched off of the system and his parents. This was also bad for us because the Sperm Idiot stayed there and thrived to the Nth degree of accomplishment for the worthless POS that he is.
If he had been in Texas we would have had him in prison for several things and he would have paid shitloads of money in CS for his eldest child (my SS). In Sperm Land he got off easy since accountability is a foreign concept there and sob stories for toothless moron idiots gains a lot of sympathy with Sperm Land judges.
Oregon is a beautiful place but the problem is that it is full of people like the Sperm Idiot and the Sperm Clan. :sick: :sick: :sick:
IMHO and experience of course.
Good luck.