is it sunny in hell? or just hot?
Did anyone else wake up today and see the sun shining, beautiful blue sky, flowers blooming, light breeze...and think "I hate my life?" I am an outsider in my own home, take a backseat to the ex wife, and am expected to make a positive contibution to a child's life at the same time I am excluded from every aspect of his life because I am not his parent. BF refered to his ex-wife last night during an arguement as his "wife." Whoops. They divorced 10 years ago and were only married for 3. She must have made quite the impact. Guess when her feelings are first, the loyalty is to her, her rules run the show and her schedule dictates our life, she really is the wife, divorce or not. Hoping your days are sunnier than mine.
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sorry F2, i woke happy
sorry F2, i woke happy today..... exw doesn't really play a role in my life (MOST of the time) ~~ dh HATES her and wishes he didn't have kids with her ~~ but it is what it is..
tomorrow morning i will wake up miserable b/c it is the beginning af ass gnat visitation.... wed night, then fri - mon morning (hopefully, he better take the litte brats home early even though it is a holiday), then tues night and wed night.... god how i hate that cycle!
A.Deville, Yeah, you are
A.Deville, Yeah, you are lucky. I guess if I have the opportunity to get out of this mess and try again, the one thing I learned is ultimately find a guy without kids, and if that isn't a choice, find one not still hung up on the ex. I bought it at first, how they "had to" communicate for the "best interest of the child." Now that I have been thru hell and back I realize that the kid is nothing but the excuse for two people who are still wrapped up in each other. Codependent psychos who can't live together but can't stand to go a whole day without knowing the other is close. You don't have to obey the ex, talk to the ex 5 times a day, and defend to the death her honor to the multitudes who try to tell you what kind of person she really is. None of that has anything to do the the "best interest of the child." I am sure your skids are more well adjusted and have a better chance at a successful adulthood than the freaky skid living in my house who has been ripped in two by his parent's constant interaction and need for each other. It will always be the greatest irony of this mess...that the only person who has any idea or any real concern for the "best interest of the child," is me, the left out, non-important, ghost that lives in the house and pays the bills.
the only person who has any
the only person who has any idea or any real concern for the "best interest of the child," is me, the left out, non-important, ghost that lives in the house and pays the bills.
Exactly! I have often thought that I could have done a better job raising my skids BY MYSELF than both of their bio-parents have done!
I'm sorry, forever. That
I'm sorry, forever. That must have really hurt. Is it possible that it really was just a slip? My husband loathes his ex and they've been divorced forever. He has slipped up and called me by her name. I've done the same. It happens. And it doesn't necessarily mean anything more than just simple brain fart.
starfish, oh yes, I remember
starfish, oh yes, I remember the ass gnats. Lets suffer together then. My F.up schedule (courtesy the ex wife) is so similiar, and I thought I was the only one who has to live like this. We have been assigned kid duty tonight (Tues), Wed, off Thursday, then kid duty Fri-Mon just like you. Guess BM wants her 3 day weekend, as if I couldn't see that coming a mile away.
I will suffer along with both
I will suffer along with both of you! BM likes her 3 day weekend every other week. I can imagine why, it is so stressful not working and collecting disability payments :sick:
HAHA "ass gnats" I just
HAHA "ass gnats" I just really like those words put together.
WantNoSkids, how did you
WantNoSkids, how did you muster the strength? Were you married to the guy with skids? House together? Was it ugly? (the breakup, not the house)
I know I need to get out, but my self esteem is so shattered by what has transpired, when I think about the energy it would take to get out, I just get tired and sad.
i can relate to how you feel
i can relate to how you feel a little.. i dont think my hubby is hung up on the ex but i get aggravated when he talks about how much he dislikes her but when she calls he is all friendly with her.. Like they were old friends.. im finding i dislike her only because she gets some of his attention... Is it me? am I over reacting? probably so... i know i have issues but some of the things he does i think anyone would agree with me... an example.... she is suppose to pay him 50.00 a month for a bill he paid of hers that she agreed to pay in the divorce, He paid it just to keep his credit good, He takes her back to court and that was the agreement amount... wow.. 50.00 a month on a 2500.00 bill... anyway.. she is always late, now he went to the bank the other day for a loan and the bank said sure but you need to take care of one thing first.. It was another payment she was late on the she was suppose to take care of.. the payment was only 57.00 dollars but thats beside the point.. he paid it and just so happened we run in to her at a department store she was working at.. he mentioned the payment and she said she would call him later that night.. when she did she said she would pay it along with his monthly payment in the next couple days.. well, guess what... no payment but a phone call,, would you mind if i waited a couple weeks to pay you because im starting a new job and i have to by some new clothes... YEAH right, well, here it is a couple weeks and a new month and nothing.. it isnt the money that gets to me its the principle.. he lets her do it.. he says hes going to take he back to court but i will believe it when i see it..
that "wife" comment was
that "wife" comment was nothing personal. its normal according to dr. phil. lol.
i've called my dh my exes name and didn't mean it, it was just a slip. and boy was i sorry.
we sms don't get very much credit. no high fives, no thank yous, nothing. in 10 years i received 1 gift from 1 skid, 0 gifts from 2 skid, and 3 skid is a girl and she gave me 1 gift. in ten years.
take take take all day, thats what skids are good for!