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So I have not been on Steptalk for over a year...

fedupstepdad's picture

Submitted by fedupstepdad on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 7:59am

And not only have things not improved, as predicted got much much worse. Short of it marriage is over, bitter divorce and in the end my kids and I are suffering. I'm sure a lot of people on here understand and are in the same type of situation have a stepkid with their new boyfriend, wife, partner whatever...but if there are any and i do mean any single or engaged people on this forum who are looking at this post or website because they are about to embark on a relationship with a stepkid I beg you....DONT DO IT UNLESS YOU KNOW 100% THAT YOU AND YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER ARE ON THE SAME PAGE...if you aren't it will NEVER work out!

Comments

BellaMia's picture

Submitted by BellaMia on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 8:02am

Amen... and amen again. I wish I had followed my gut and mind and said to hell with my heart.

Sweetnothings's picture

Submitted by Sweetnothings on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 8:17am

Yep, I agree, too....
The trouble is I was too trusting, for far too long..... You do not start a relationship with just the two of you, when Skids are involved..... I had been sensible all my life, deciding not to have kids, working my jobs, etc, etc, and before I knew it, like magic it went from us being bf and gf ( the early days before we married) to me being the cook, the cleaner, the bad cop, the invisble one. And I got tired REAL quickly of hearing these are kids/ then teens/ then adults, it's not their fault, ummm, okay, then that just leaves BM and DH to blame???
And no one wants to open that can of worms TOO often !!!

Do not go into this thinking it's a fairytale..... It never is....

I cannot change the past, but the future is and WILL be mine !! If I was still living in the same country as SD21 and she was living with us, DH and I would be over by now..... Simple truth......

novemberm's picture

Submitted by novemberm on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 3:51pm

That is awesome advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and I am almost at my breaking point. The adult brats do not live with us, but they are constant problems because one is determined to move in and get me out (she is almost getting her wish) and all 3 are convinced that my bf exists only to support them. I foolishly thought that getting involved with someone who has older/adult kids would be just fine, but it has been a nightmare. Add to that his meddling mother, and I am almost out the door. The problem is, I love the man. However, if I wish I had visited this forum prior to getting this serious. I would have run.

I am so sorry for your hardships, and those of every one on here.