This. Exactly the reason I feed DD4 seperate from SS16. 

I feed DD4 earlier than anyone else. I sit with her and give her my undivided attention while she eats. She's a picky eater so I will make something for her... sit with her, hang out with her, and then put her to bed. THEN I focus on feeding the rest of my household. DD4 is in bed by 7PM. We eat late because I WILL NOT have her sit at the table with a feral, antisocial, disrespectful SKID and a parent who is incapable of calling him out. 

She eats when shes hungry, I do not announce, husband will announce.

Under ZERO circumstances does anyone eat meals in their rooms. PERIOD> and I will speak up strongly...

Thank goodness I didn't have the issue of one of the SKs taking dinner to their room.  But, I had picky, passive aggressive SKs who used the food issue to express their feelings.  " What stinks?"  "What's that?"  "I dont like that".

I came from a family who, on the positive side, emphasized all sitting down to dinner daily.  But, on the negative side, they put an over-emphasis on food, "Clean up your plate" and no limits to quantity.  This led to health and weight problems for all of us, culminating with my 300-lb sister's death.  So, my devotion to family dinners was nuanced.

I cooked dinner,  summoned everyone and that was it.  Spmetimes one of his kids would whine to DH and he'd give them a few dollsrs for fast food (within walking distance).  I didn't comment on any of this.  My goal: provide nourishing food and minimize stress on everyone.  That's all I could do and Lord knows, we had deeper problems..

Good luck, Don't you hate it when your food becomes an issue.

I detest family dinners because of this.  For years my DH demanded we all sit and eat at the table together, it was awkward and awful.  Spawn would sit there mute the whole time no matter the amount of conversation going on around her.  If I got up and left the table, she would suddenly be full of conversation and wanting to engage.  As the kids got older and schedules got more hectic, I just started feeding the kids as their schedules demanded and stopped doing this forced production that we were a happy family.   

This does not even have to be a thing.

There was a time... when meals were at a table as a family.  Every time.  Unless they are as a family at a restaurant.  No eating in a bedroom, etc...

Snarky spawn these days do what they want. Fix it by making them starve. They eat with everyone else at the table, or they don't eat until the next meal.  Going a day without eating won't cause them any harm but it will make a very uncomfortable point.  Bring the meat tenderizer mallet to the table and inform everyone ahead of time that if one smart phone is heard or seen, it gets smashed.  When someone tests you, smash their phone.

Lather.... rinse..... repeat.

See how quickly this is no longer a thing after a kid goes hungry until the next meal or is trying to find the missing chunks of their precious smart phone.

It's his kid, he should handle her.  ActuallY, it's his job to be making  her dinner ....weeenot you,  She is showing you no respect, being disrespectful, get disengagement by you.  You will do nothing for people who disrespect you. From now on. Dinner is on DH, INCLUDING, shopping for the food. Washing of her thing DH, Transportation, DH.   School DH  .. 

'If SD wants to stay in her room. Good for her..  DH must understand he has to be active in DD care or he looking at another failed marriage.   SD is not your problem..  you will never have a relationship with her so stop eating her shi* 

H's kids were pita about food, etc.  They were used to Beaver making different meals for each kid and/or just grabbing fast food.  I cook 6 days out of the week (except for Friday's cause by then I'm tired) and everyone can eat what I cook or make a pbandj.  I have to say H backed me up on that one...eat what I fix and serve or don't eat.  Simple as that...kid number 3 threatened to call CPS for not feeding him....we told him GO RIGHT EFF AHEAD AND CALL.  CPS will take one look at our fully stocked fridge, pantry and freezer and determine kid 3 was not being starved and had plenty of access to food.  Kid 3 not eating was CHOICE and not a punishment.    We confirmed this with our attorney and with GAL....so kid 3 had nothing to go on.

Kid 3 got with the program after missing dinner two nights in a row....and if he continued the H would have cooked for him and H was going to cook all the things that kid 3 didn't like.  As H told kid 3..play stupid games and you will win stupid prizes.

Oh yes, this happened here too.

We ate dinner together always around the same time. I would have preferred the SDs participate somehow in the meal, if only setting the table, but no, that was too much to ask (per DH). They would be in their rooms when either of us were cooking. YSD would usually show up just before it was ready, but not OSD! DH would yell to her that it was ready, yes, I hated that too - she knows when dinner is,  especially when she's complaining of hunger. I would go to her room, knock, and tell her it was ready. Until she started snapping at me. OK then. I started yelling too. ONCE. DH would sometimes do it over and over before she'd come up. Sometimes she'd be wearing headphones.

Either way, the last time she was irritated with us, I stopped the dinner is ready announcement and told DH it was on him. If he wasn't there, I would tell her ONE time. She missed the start of dinner more than once and blamed us of course "You didn't tell me." Yes, we did, but you weren't paying attention. DH could never explain to her properly WHY she was wrong, of course, and when he called her he continued to cater and HE made sure she was there which removed her personal accountability for yet one more thing.

Too many comments on this thread that I relate to!!!

SD25whenshewas15-18 was a "pescatarian". Guess what she is now? Of course! When "someone (daddy cakes) isnt catering to her "needs" she figures out that shes ok with regular meat. But back in the day, she never cooked for herself, and would each and every time have a fish or meatless dish available in front of her and invariably ask "is there meat in this?" uRGH!!!

The ONE time I told her "your cooking dinner tonight", she looked me square in the eyes and blurted "who said?" 

"I said". Then guided her through cooking veggies for a meal that included chicken which she refused to bake...

SD17almost18 has cooked for us a few times, always with much guidance. Chop this, slice that, boil this, maybe twice.

I stopped cooking for skids. Husband will cook, announce its readiness and then SD17 will slither out of her room and dine later, after we have partaken. Its what works because neither of us care to deal with sullen powersulk during a meal.

I also stopped with "announcing" readiness. 
She doesnt want to eat together, not my deal. I wasnt raised that way, and will not endure the failings of his lack of parenting.

I am team.... a kid can be pleasant or starve. Their choice.  There is no middle ground that I would facilitate.

Participate, eat with everyone, help clean up, or .... enjoy the hunger pangs until the next meal.  No snacks, no taking the meal to their room.

Lather.... rinse... repeat.