I haven't vented on here lately because I was working real hard on being positive and looking for healthy ways to deal with SS11. Not that this place isn't AWESOME, I was just finding myself so angry that I wanted to strangle my SS and all of your's too, along with the BM I deal with and the ones you deal with too

So I went on a little journey; my first stop was Eckhart Tolle who taught me not to resist what is. Resisting what is makes you angry and there's no reason to be angry because you can't change some things that are. For Example: My SS is a total asshole. He just is. He is becoming more and more of a selfish prick and it is what it is. Now that I am no longer resisting it I feel a lot better...most of the time.

Next stop: Judgmental f-ing SIL who is currently living with us. She works hard at being Zen herself and I have borrowed a lot of her books on being calm, relaxed, loving the now. It is she who sits in her room and hears things that go on around this house and from her throne of judgement she has told me that I am the problem. I'm too mean, I harp too much, maybe I should just leave the room when SS is being a dickhead. I listened, argued a little, ate it all, digested it and pooped out bullshit. I tried all the crap that she said and it is just getting worse. BUT at least I now have someone listening in judgement to everything I do, so when SS11 is being an ass I just send him to her room Aaahhhh Zen.

Stop #3 a new psychologist. My husband and I went to a psychologist who referred us to a parenting class that is designed for little kids. I did my best to live in the now (see: Eckhart Tolle above) and took the most I could from it. Big take-away? Less talk, less emotion. I am no longer talking to SS about his actions, nor showing anger (which has actually reduced my anger), I am just sending him to his room every-time he fucks with BS2. In fact, just tonight DH and I have decided that SS11 is no longer allowed in the same room as BS2. DH even said that he is going to start doing to SS11 things that SS11 does to BS2 (confusing sentence?). This just means that today SS11 threw a ball at BS2's face now, DH (or I am allowed to do it too) is going to randomly throw something at SS11's face. Also, SS went to hand something to BS, he held out the toy and dropped it on the ground when BS got close enough to grab it (it's like this all day). Conclusion: counseling may not have made us better people, but DH and I are more on the same page. I may go back again if this continues.

Anyway, I came back here because I am no longer so angry that when I type my computer moans from my angry keystrokes and I can vent with a little smile on my face. SS is what he is and will most likely end up on the corner of a street begging for money and beating his wife, but I don't have to worry about that anymore.

It is what it is...