Does anyone else deal with this from BM?
If you have been following my blog, then you know that DF finally put BM in her place a few days ago. You would think that having him put her in her place would make her not want to talk to him. Oh no, not this BM. It has made her more clingy. She has this bad habit of trying to talk to DF whenever he calls or picks up the girls. Do any of you deal with this?
For example, DF called to talk to the SDs last night. And, BM picks up the phone and tells him that she isn't at home. She is now going back to school to be a massage therapist. She keeps going on and on about how she is improving herself. And then says, "Aren't you proud of me, DF?"
To my DF's credit, he just ignored her question and told her to have the SDs call him.
This isn't the first time she has done this. A few months ago, we drove to her home to pick up the SDs and she literally spun around in front of him and asked if he could tell how much weight she had lost. It makes me laugh, but it actually makes DF very uncomfortable.
I was just wondering if anyone else deals with this type of inappropriate behavior. My DF tries not to just ignore it. Usually, we end up laughing about it once we are alone. I just wondered if I was alone in this. Are all BMs attention whores like she is?
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Ours was in the beginning.
Ours was in the beginning. Whenever something big or significant happens in her life, she likes to brag. I guess she thinks she's making DH jealous?
When DH and I first got together, she would show up at drop offs in mini skirts and tank tops, completely bra-less. When she came to the house (which she is no longer allowed to do), she would hover outside the front door trying to get in, or at least close to DH. She went so far as to put her foot in my front foyer and I damn near took it off when I slammed the door in her face.
She's pretty desperate to convince DH she is happy. So while I hope she is happy, she certainly doesn't act like a genuinely happy person would.
This! ^^^ Putting a stop to
This! ^^^
Putting a stop to it is different than ignoring it.
We are in the beginning stages of stopping inappropriate conversation. It started by blocking BM from DH's phone in November. He didn't allow her to communicate in any way other than email. She was told why too: she makes everything about herself. Even if the whole point was to exchange info about the kids, she still framed it as "I think, I feel, I want". She was told repeatedly to knock it off. It is nice to not have that daily gut wrenching reaction to multiple notifications on his phone anymore. We don't live in constant stress anymore.
When DH cut off her privilege to phone access, it helped a little but she still didn't get the concept that what she was feeling, what she was going through, what she thought about things didn't matter. She was to keep all communication centered on logistics only. When she failed at that I finally stepped in and pretty much repeated DH's requests verbatim.
It's been a lot better over the past couple of months but she still slips into old habits. I swear, my dog was easier to train than this woman is.
YES...not as much anymore.
YES...not as much anymore. Also, with time I could care less.
This is why the SM of my bios should love me....I LEAVE THEM ALONE! If I wanted to talk to him we would still be married!
Yep^^^
Yep^^^
Ours would never have the
Ours would never have the skids ready at the COed pickup time. Then she threw a fit because she didn't think that a 7 and 6 year old could walk 20 feet from the front door of her house to our car. So, DH started walking up to the door to get them. THEN she would try to get him to come inside since they weren't ready. All while I sat in the car and watched this performance every time.
Luckily, my DH realized that I would probably go all Bobbett on him if he did that (or maybe he was just that desperate to get away from the psycho) and never once went inside no matter what BM tried to lure him with.
This finally ended when the skids were telling their dad, all proud, about how they take out the garbage for their mother. Since the garbage was further away than the driveway AND they would be out of site while taking it to the dumpster, DH told BM that they were old enough to walk themselves to the car now.
oh oh me too ::Raises hand::
oh oh me too ::Raises hand::
My BM did this for 7 years.
My BM did this for 7 years. It took DSO telling her that he hated her, would never move back in with her and him letting all calls go to VM, cut her off if she starts her rambling and not giving her 1 second of attention.
She now resorts to calling him on SDs phone when she is visiting BM bc BM thinks he will pick up thinking it is SD....after the first time she did that, he just lets go to VM and every time it is BM, SD always texts. He did answer BM on Saturday bc SS was on a pass and DSO thought it was SS. He listened and kept rolling his eyes and then asked her 'Is that all, I'm busy'....BM said 'sorry to bother you' and hung up.
BM tried a few times both of
BM tried a few times both of the times he was in the car he stared straight ahead and rolled up the window in her face lol. She tried a few times to "have a civil discussion and learn to be friends" by taking the phone from the kids he'd hang up. Just hang up. Then call back and reiterate he's taking his CO'd phone time with his children if she interfered again he would file contempt for interference. Then she'd try when she'd call the kids on her time usually by screaming at him for something stupid. He now has his kids answer first couple times she ended up screaming at her own kids she got the hint. Sometimes if he's busy when she calls I answer she's very meek and asks nicely if she may speak with her kids. Now of course she doesn't call them anymore, she tells them she's too busy.
YES! For some reason, she
YES!
For some reason, she loves to brag to DH about all the things she buys (before and after which she complains that she's broke!), which I think is stupid because DH now plans on having CS lowered (due to a paycut he had to take awhile back). And it's so obvious that she's not using the money in the best interest of the children - no food, ratty clothes, she got evicted from her apt and is now shacking up with her friend and HER family...the list goes on and on!
And she HAS pulled the "You like my new outfit?" crap before. :sick:
Last week, there was a big blowup between SS12 and DH and I (SS12 was being very disrespectful to me while DH was at work and was trying to be physically harmful), so we stopped all contact for awhile to give everyone space to breathe. Then just 2 days ago, the skids asked if DH was getting them this weekend (aka. BM couldn't handle them anymore so she needed DH to take them off her hands). DH asked SS12 for an apology for the way he acted and yadda yadda yadda...so we're getting them tonight. After all that, BM texted DH to call her to talk to her about SS12 - which meant that BM either wanted to make sure we're "not to hard" on her precious 12-yr-old BABY, or to threaten me not to try to insinuate rules on her delinquent son - but DH said NO. She proceeds to call him a "f*ckin joke", at which point DH texted back "We talked and we're good now". And that actually shut her up! :jawdrop: She saw that she was losing control/relevancy in the situation, so she tried to regain that by putting in her two cents. And DH just threw her dirty rotten pennies back at her!
I gotta say, DH is getting better at shutting BM down!