Well, I spoke too soon about the remainder of the visit going well. Last night, SS10 talked to BM and GF for over 45 minutes on the phone. SS excitedly showed BM the scrapbook of all of the photos of SS and DD that he is putting together. He went page by page for 5 minutes, all excited about his hard work. Well, BM did not give a favorable reaction, so of course, SS then had to tell BM the "bad" to keep her happy.

So when DD was 3 months old, we took her to the pediatrician due to flattening of her head. She was evaluated by a craniologist and a PT. They diagnosed her with mild plagiocephaly (flat head) and torticollis (abnormal tightness of the neck). We were evaluated for a helmet and she has been going to PT once per week. Well, thanks to insurance, the helmet is not due to be fitted until August. DH and I have been busting our butts to help her head round out and we have been doing exercises and tummy time with her several times per day. We met with the pediatrician last week and they determined a helmet will not be beneficial in August due to DD's age and that her skull has made significant improvements so while her head isn't perfect, it isn't worth pursuing a helmet. I have had major Mom guilt for months about DD's head and doing right by her. We have been careful about mentioning anything related to this around SS because I didn't want it getting back to BM, but he has eavesdropped and heard snippets of conversations with others. Last night, after showing BM the scrapbook, SS told BM that we are not getting DD a helmet and that we are doing absolutely nothing to help DD; that her head is totally flat and we are completely failing her. Listen, I don't want to eavesdrop on SS' calls with BM, but he has accused us of plenty of things in the past and has said things to create conflict between households during his calls with BM. We eavesdrop to protect ourselves by knowing what is said before BM blindsides us with allegations. Plus, BM makes SS sit next to her, on speakerphone, during calls with us and she often responds to DH directly for SS, so I don't care if she is mad that we listen in. Anyways, I was pissed, but I can't call him out on it because then he will know we eavesdrop on his calls and then he will work harder to hide during calls. He also trash talked my Mom to BM and GF for not honking at an elderly man who wasn't driving fast enough in front of them while running errands. SS told my Mom at the time that "BM would honk without a second thought because slow drivers piss her off." So he had to tell BM and GF how terrible my Mom is for not honking and that she is a terrible driver. 

SS finished his call, listening to BM and GF talk about their weeks. They talked up their vacation again that is planned for this weekend after they pick SS up. They told him how much they loved and missed him.After SS' call with BM, he seemed totally fine, but the bathroom issues persisted. Whatever. 

Well this morning, SS woke up with a stick up his ass and of course, DH is out of town on a single day business trip. SS is angry, short, and incredibly irritable. He has barely said two words the whole morning and has hid in his room, laying in bed, listening to music. He had breakfast, rinsed his dish and put it in the sink, and ran upstairs. My Mom made DD her baby food and put it in the sink on top of his plate. I told SS to come down and put the dish in the dishwasher, which he should know as it has always been our expectation. He stomps down and sees that his rinsed plate has baby food on it. He freaks out and goes "Great! My clean plate has baby food on it so now I have to rerinse it. I shouldn't have to do that!" I immediately called him out and said "Stop. You are not going to be disrespectful. I will not tolerate it. You are going to rerinse the dish and put it in the dishwasher. The world will not end." He did it silently and ran back upstairs. I texted DH to let him know. He hid upstairs for a while, I checked in on him, telling him that if he is upset or stressed that he should talk about it, not keep it bottled up. He said he was fine and I didn't push further. He came down just a bit ago, seemingly better and asked to work on his scrapbook again. 

I had hoped our last few days would be nice, but it seems that it is easier for SS to leave mad than to leave happy. I HATE transitions! I'm frankly over it and told DH that I will be disengaging from SS significantly going forward. Hopefully he will straighten out this afternoon. 

UPDATE: I left him alone for a while and worked in the other room while DD napped. He worked on his scrapbook some more. He finished it and showed me happily. He put some photos of DD smiling on a page and put "Life with DD is never normal - sometimes she is happy, but mostly she is really happy." Now he is happily playing in his room and being polite like he wasn't a total jerk this morning. If this isn't steplife and is just pre-adolescence, Lord help us all.