I am searching apartments for rent..
hello everyone, I am more of a reader than a blogger so will not find out much about me from my blog. I am in the relationship (2y) with a guy who has 2 kids: 14 sd and 7 ss. Things are not going well lately, I have been searching rental websites all morning...
I thought lots about my situation and I finally decided where the problems come from. My step kids are like most of yours, sometimes easy to deal with, very often not. usual staff, especially with the 14 sd. But she is not the one I want to write today about.
I believe that most of our problems (even with the kids) come from... us: my partner and I. We are the ones who mess things up. Let me explain using last weekend as an example: on Saturday I spend half a day cleaning the house (my job interlay, although we both work full time, but I do not make as much money and he pays for everything plus he has two houses to support blablabla...), btw he is biking (5times a week at least) for fun while I am cleaning and looking after his kids. Then we all went out. On Sunday am i had to go to work, hoping that when I come back I will be able to relax in my clean house and enjoy rest of the afternoon. DH met me after work in town, I took both of his kids shopping (ss 7y. is had a meltdown while ss was whining and wanting more and more..) in the meantime my dh finished his part of the shopping and had nice time drinking wine and waiting for us in the restaurant. When we came home my house was not clean, I had to unload the dishwasher, clean after breakfast and I was getting more and more frustrated. dh in front of his children was telling me about how ungrateful I am, and how he does everything for me and I am never happy. I asked few times to not to talk to me in front of his kids this way. He did not respect it and kept going so I finally lost it and yelled to him to shut up and went upstairs. He followed me and kept telling that his kids were waiting for me with the dessert (bulls..._ and I can't even be with them. I am so tired and sick off cleaning and picking up shit after everyone, never hearing f...n thanks from anyone, never hi or bye. I am just a cleaner, not important to anyone. Sorry, i am not making much sense today, I am just very upset, wanting to leave, take my dog and run away and never look back at this life again...
thanks for reading,
- bellamolido's blog
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Comments
bella my goodness, that's
bella my goodness, that's awful. Your DH isn't sympathetic to your position at all. And the fact that he would talk to you like that in front of his kids just shows his lack of respect and that lack of respect will only breed the same from his children when they get up in age. You are right, the problem isn't with the kids, it's with your DH.
I think you are right to want to leave and I think that you should. Get your dog and get out because you deserve better than that.
Thank you life84. It is time
Thank you life84. It is time for me and my puppy-girl to puck-up and go. hope your life is better.
That is just awful -- shame
That is just awful -- shame on him for talking to you like that in front of the kids! Have you two been to counseling together? If he doesn't see your side of the story at all, and doesn't see that he should be talking to you like that AT ALL, let alone in front of the kids, you should pack up and get out. You deserve better than that. Anyone does.
UCSM (BB)
"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin
We have been to the
We have been to the counseling and I want to believe that he gets it every time we talk to a specialist but we end up in the same place over and over again. It takes a lot of my energy, and I usually end up crying my eyes out and talking for hours until he finally sees how much hurts me but he never gets for the next time, we keep doing it again and again. I feel like this relationship is very draining.
I tried to explain (again) last night that there is absolutely nothing constructive coming from his comments, asked why can't he wait or ask me to go to the other room and talk to me his reponse was that he is getting very frustrated when he sees me when I am not happy while picking up after others or cleaning therefore he can't stop.
Wow, if you've been to
Wow, if you've been to counseling and he is still like this, I would pack my bags. If it takes SOOOO much energy for him to even get that he's hurting you, then he doesn't care enough about your feelings to be a good husband. IF he was a decent partner, he would care about hurting your feelings, even if he didn't always get at first what he'd done. Just the mere fact that you tell him it hurts you, should be enough that he should care enough to want to change his behavior.
My EX-husband was a lot like yours, I think. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did. Being married to him was eating me alive.
UCSM (BB)
"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin
I think your BF has a
I think your BF has a serious problem, no wonder he is divorced. I say get an apt. things will just get worse.
Your dog doesn't deserve
Your dog doesn't deserve that kind of treatment from your DH...let alone YOU!
You said you tried the therapy route and he gets better for a while and then regresses back to his old ways after a short while. This tells me he clearly is not interested in genuine change.
I would take my puppy and find alternate living arrangements. You deserve so much better. And believe me, things will only get worse when his children get into their teen years- the disresepct will multiply tenfold.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
I think better leave the
I think better leave the place and get an apartment some where. He should not treat you in this way. Its like he doesn't need you any more.
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