All was good, great actually. We allowed boyfriend from colorado, where BM lives and she spends summers, to come visit. what I think to be a very nice and accomodating thing to do. All was roses and hugs and kisses with us till he arrives then shit goes to hell. My husband is a bartender and worked thurs, fri. and sat night leaving me as the watch dog. Thursday night I catch them past bed time, she has school the next day, under the covers shirts on but who know what was going on. they are 15. I handled this one very well. I told him to go to bed and i was unhappy. they just stared at me and sd tried to justify. so I asked them to stand up. sd resonded 'why do we have to?' I said because I know why you don't want to and this is why I aam so upset so get to bed within 5 min. Fairly diplomatic and even headed i thought. well friday night I failed and fell asleep at midnight, (I worked at 6 and had to again the next day) so they were on their own. I know I am a bad parent for that one. saturday night was homecoming but sd for some reason no longer wanted to go. so they got all dressed up and went to dinner with friends then came home changed and went to a movie. when they returned from the movie they came and sat on the couch expecting me to get up. (on thursday and friday I gave them thee living room) well I was comfortable and did not feel I needed to give 15 yos privacy. so I stayed. they put a movie in, not asking if it was ok to change what I was watching, and 10 min later changed the movie. I told sd that this should be the last movie change ans she asked why, I said it was annoying to constalty change movies nd she should stick to one. well that pissed her off even more. NOw it it 12.30 and they are very upset not to have smooching time, so they go upstairs, I give them more time than I should have and go upstairs. She is in his room sitting on the bed, he is rolled over facing the wall. something is up. I ask, she says she is saying goodnight. so I change into pjs and go into her room give her a hug and kiss, i love you goodnight. 20 min later doors open and close up and down the stairs and all sorts of movement. I give it 20 more min and things are quiet but they are now downstairs at 2 15 am. I go down and tell them to go to bed. this is when all shit breaks loose. She starts yelling at me about him paying 500$ to come visit and I wont let them hang out and I am the meanest person ever. i warn her that she is being over the top rude and if this continues she will have to go to school on monday (we made a deal she could miss half the day to send off boyfriend) she scream that I have no control over that that was her dads say, etc. etc. I tell her to go to bed and stop this, it is redicuous and 2.30 in the mor ning. Well my husband of course upholds my word and sd is furious. come monday she simply refuses to go to school and there is nothing we can do.
so. we took away the car and she has not talked to us since really. save to ask if dinner was ready. I am not sure why she is so mad still. Is it b/c dh sided with me? b/c she knows she told us to f##k ourselves. We have had bigger issues, like sneaking out of the house and caught drinking. Was I so wrong to tell them to go to bed at 2.15 am? I am at a loss as to what the real issue is. surely it can;t be me sending them to bed. and this is not the first time dh has stood up for my judgment. All the sudden things have gone way out of control. Dh is worried to do anyting to piss her off right now and I am too, this is a shitty house to live in right noe. But I also cannot let her run the house. I think we were pretty cool to let the guy come visit in the first place. I will not walk around my house on eggshells couae she did not get to have a romantic noght of love making. argh things are great when the are good, but when this stuff happens I am so lost and confused. I am tryting to maitain 'life as usual' but it is hard. nothing is normal or ok. she has doubled the eyliner and gives death looks all the time. thanks for listening