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too long, but I needed to get this off my chest

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Submitted by beamer on Thu, 10/01/2009 - 2:36am

All was good, great actually. We allowed boyfriend from colorado, where BM lives and she spends summers, to come visit. what I think to be a very nice and accomodating thing to do. All was roses and hugs and kisses with us till he arrives then shit goes to hell. My husband is a bartender and worked thurs, fri. and sat night leaving me as the watch dog. Thursday night I catch them past bed time, she has school the next day, under the covers shirts on but who know what was going on. they are 15. I handled this one very well. I told him to go to bed and i was unhappy.

Can you all help me? sd wants to be closer friends and I don't know how

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Submitted by beamer on Sat, 09/26/2009 - 9:26pm

We recently found a counselor for Sd to help her deal with her irresponsible and unavailable mom. She has not talked to her mom since she returned from her summer visit a month and a half ago. We are worried about her bottling all sorts of feelings up, sd does not talk to us and always tries to smile and be happy, but we know she is not. So we went to a counselor and sd seems to like her, what i discovered is Sd is seeking a closer relationship with me. We are not cuddly and gossipy, but get along, we laugh at dinner and she gets mad when i remind her of chores.

child support questions

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Submitted by beamer on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 2:07am

We are not sure if we want to pursue this, but I am curious if you all know the laws. so here is the story. DH owed child support 10 years ago, made a verbal agreement with BM to pay direct and she wrote a letter to concerned (legal) parties forgiving him of past due amounts. he paid monthly until SD decided to live with us 4 years ago. BM pays nothing and has gone off the deep end lately. we have apyed the plane tickets to send Sd to BM for Christmas and summer visits only in the interest of the kid having a relationship with her mom.

It occurs to me that I did not think this through, maybe I am not a good step parent, how did I think I could do this??????

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Submitted by beamer on Sun, 09/06/2009 - 1:27am

I am having a dark day. my post have been all over the board, good, bad, scared, and today kinda depressed. LAst night, friday night, SD 15 saays she is staying at a friends house, so I make plans with my girl friends. we go out. DH goes to work at 6 (bar tender) I get a call at 7 from SD asking to borrow my "sparkle boots" they live in my closet and are a great haloween costume, I bought them to be a super hero last year, ( I am 29) she explain that her and her friend want to dress up and walk down town. We live in a small college town.

Ok I was just about to post how happy iam to be a step parent, and I still am cause I just saw the TATOO BM got for SD15 !!!!!!

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Submitted by beamer on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:01am

Are you F**cking kidding me!!!!!!! It is a tasteful one I guess. on the inside of her wrist, chinese symbols that means 'chance' her 4 yo brothers name. she has been wearing braclets, you know the kind KIDS wear, friendship braclets, woven ones. Anyways, what kind of mother takes her 15 year old daughter to get a tatoo on her wrist, a most obvious place, that will be with her the rest of her life! I am beside myself. without words.

I need help and advice. Sd's boyfriend is coming to stay with us for 5 days

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Submitted by beamer on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:37pm

Sd16 met this boy last summer while at her moms. Sd tried to stay at her moms (BM is in and out of jail, no home, no job) claiming it would be better for her little brother (who lives with BMs ex the boys father.) a total farse. it turns out sd was just in love with a boy. She came home a year passed, summer love died and all was well. Same thing this summer. Now all she has been saying is how she needs to go back cause she misses him. they say I love you, our cell phone bill is through the roof, so we offer for him to come visit us.

summers over, SD returns tommorow, but doesn't want to

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Submitted by beamer on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 10:09pm

After a great wedding where SD gave a heart felt and complimentary speech, she goes to her moms, we go on our honeymoon (great time!) return home last week and thursday she sends an email saying she isn't coming back. DH calls talks and thinks she may get on the plane saturday. Mom is no prize. she is living with her mom, unemployed, in and out of jail with no D.L Living on unemployment and child support from her 5 yr olds dad. Our 15 yr old claims she needs to stay cause her brother needs her, she feels a maternal instinct to protect and care for him.

Summer activities, programs for teens abroad

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Submitted by beamer on Sun, 06/07/2009 - 12:20am

BM seems to have gone off the deep end, she is reportedly on cocaine and staying with "friends" her son 6, from a dif guy is with gramma, and SD, 15 still really wants to go visit for 2 months this summer. she misses her mother, brother and some friends in the town. (a few states away) We are very against this plan and it is a very sensitive issue, she loves her mom and brother and wants to visit. If she does not go it also signifies the end, it states how bad things are with her mom to the whole world, and not just in her own mind.

Feeling helpless, The kid has too much control

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Submitted by beamer on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 1:15am

I am a loss. My 15 yro Sd told us that after her mom got out jail (SD lives with us a few states away thank heavens) that BM went on Dead tour (hey I like the Dead too) ran out of money in CA and had to pan handle her way home (She has another child who is 6) and is now living with "friends" who are on drugs and her mom is probably on Cocaine. She learned all this from staying in touch with her brothers father......BM's ex, and she is freaking out. Understandably. No teenager should have to write their mom a letter about how they are being irresponsible.

Including 15 yr old sd in wedding

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Submitted by beamer on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:09am

We are to be married June 27th, we all live together and have for 3 years. I am in the midst of wedding chaos and am struggling with my sd's place. She is 15 so too old to be in any sand ceremony or sny other kiddish thing, but this is a very big deal for her as well as me. we currently have her walking him down the isle first then the bridesmaids/groomsmen then me and my dad. We are buying her an Irish claddagh ring as a wedding gift to exchange when he and I exchange ours. I am balancing the importance of this to her as well as myself and him.

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