I am a loss. My 15 yro Sd told us that after her mom got out jail (SD lives with us a few states away thank heavens) that BM went on Dead tour (hey I like the Dead too) ran out of money in CA and had to pan handle her way home (She has another child who is 6) and is now living with "friends" who are on drugs and her mom is probably on Cocaine. She learned all this from staying in touch with her brothers father......BM's ex, and she is freaking out. Understandably. No teenager should have to write their mom a letter about how they are being irresponsible. Those are letters parents write to kids!!! Anyhow. The biggest issue comes that summer is almost here... We made a deal with SD that we would fly her to BM for spring break or summer, her choice. at the time she choose spring break, even though BM was in Jail at the time. She has limited supervision there, staying with gramma who is old and goes to bed early, and friends I do not know. But part of her draw is her 6 yro brother. At 15 she wants to help him, be motherly, take care of him. His father is well off, and can support the child but SD is concerned for him. BM is now, in her tilted reality threatening to take brother to CA, not going to happen b/c dad is well off and can afford the laywers etc.... Back to the issue. SD still has plans to go visit BM for summer. !!! She has a good friend in the area and I beleive the kids run around town and as my grand parents would say "are up to no good". We are not going to back down on our deal of spring break or summer, especially considering BM's situations, but she is trying to get her gramma and unofficial step dad to buy her a ticket. We cannot deny her if she gets someone to buy her a ticket. But thats what bothers me. I don't feel she should be trying to finagle an airplane ticket from people. But how can I tell her she cannot ask her gramma and semi step dad for a ticket? I cannot deny the SD her brother, siblings are a wonderful thing. there is no greater bond. We have warily offered to have the 6 yro brother to visit us but that is a logistical nightmare, and is dad is not in love with the idea either. I just wish we could tell SD that she is not allowed to go this summer. But she is very independant and how can we say no if she stays with gramma? kids gotta visit gramma, and brothers huh? sorry for the long disaster of a blog, but I am just so overwhelmed. She is turning 16 this fall and these are very important years when you can get caught up in all sorts of stuff. We want to do the best to discourage all of these things, or at least be around to help sort them out and discuss drinking, drugs, sex, all the things that happen in these summers.. sorry for the rambles.