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child support questions

beamer's picture

Submitted by beamer on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 2:07am

We are not sure if we want to pursue this, but I am curious if you all know the laws. so here is the story. DH owed child support 10 years ago, made a verbal agreement with BM to pay direct and she wrote a letter to concerned (legal) parties forgiving him of past due amounts. he paid monthly until SD decided to live with us 4 years ago. BM pays nothing and has gone off the deep end lately. we have apyed the plane tickets to send Sd to BM for Christmas and summer visits only in the interest of the kid having a relationship with her mom. now its seeming to be a futile attempt, BM was in jail for the entire time but 2 weeks of her summer visit. We are kinda pissed. Anyways her is the question. Is it possible for BM to take back her letter of forgiveness she wrote 10 years ago? Can she reinstate the past due that she forgave even though she sewnt a letter forgiving it and we have been without support for 4 years? We kinda want to send a giant FU to BM but do not want to get bit in the ass. GOtta say it couldn't hurt to have a bit of help with the braces and contacts etc. that we pay for....

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2Bloved's picture

Submitted by 2Bloved on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 2:21am

Is there a court order directing him to pay child support? If yes, was the CO also amended when the past due debt was forgiven? If is has not been amended, then he is probably still liable for the past four years of CS, and everything you have paid is considered a gift.

I say this b/c when FH filed with DCS to terminate CS and requested GEM pay b/c kids were with us full-time, he received a letter stating that his CS will terminate, and BM will have to pay. Then GEM and FH came to an agreement after she was served, DCS was notified, and sent another letter that CS will be terminated completely on their end, they will no longer be collecting from his paycheck, and will not pursue the case against her, but he will still be liable for CS until the CO has been changed. Meaning they won't garnish his wages anymore, but until the CO has been changed to reflect no CS, BM is still entitled to collect. So modification were filed with both parties mutually agreeing to stipulations.

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 8:04am

I would check to see on the child support order. If it has not been modified to forgive past debt... he may be stuck with it. It would be worth checking into and having it modified that she pay child support since child is living with you.

And take her letter with you as well.

I wish you the best of luck with that. She should be helping take care of her child with support. She didn't think anything was wrong with him paying - so she should has well.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

beamer's picture

Submitted by beamer on Sat, 09/12/2009 - 12:48am

thanks for your advice. think we might just let it go. BM has no money or job anyways. We just wanna stick it to her and maybe that is childish and a low road. Instead of court we are no longer going to buy any plane tix or other fare foor the SD to visit BM. If she caannot afford to save and send for her daughter than we are not going to help. We will not forbid Sd from visiting mom, but we will not help in anyway, and encourage staying with activities, skiing etc.
thanks all