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Including 15 yr old sd in wedding

beamer's picture

Submitted by beamer on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:09am

We are to be married June 27th, we all live together and have for 3 years. I am in the midst of wedding chaos and am struggling with my sd's place. She is 15 so too old to be in any sand ceremony or sny other kiddish thing, but this is a very big deal for her as well as me. we currently have her walking him down the isle first then the bridesmaids/groomsmen then me and my dad. We are buying her an Irish claddagh ring as a wedding gift to exchange when he and I exchange ours. I am balancing the importance of this to her as well as myself and him. I don't want to be a selfish bride, but this is the biggest event of my life so far. I also recognize this being the biggest event of her young life. Any advice on how I can balance this, should we include her more in the ceremony? I am also concerned about her speech, she has been saying how she is working on a speech, and it is going to be really funny. that worries me, funny. as i say we all live together, bm gets a few months in the summer, and i worry if she know the appropriate things for a large audience, but she wants it as a suprise. We have a good relationship so i don't think she will bash me, just potentially say personal and inapropriate things. aaaahhh, weddings are stressful, skids make it a bit more challenging

Comments

doglover1's picture

Submitted by doglover1 on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 7:00am

Maybe explain to her that someday she will be having her wedding day, and that for her it will be "her" day. Of course you want it to be very special, with no problems. As such your day. Even though it involves many, it is a special day mostly for you. It would be in bad taste for a speech to be off color. Tell her to read her speech to another adult first, maybe a school teacher or neighbor and see how they react. Good luck and congradulations!

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 7:57am

What about making her a jr. bridesmaid? They usually have either the same dress or one slightly different, with a smaller bouquet then the other bridesmaids. Then she'll get to stand up there with the others during the ceremony. And I agree on the speech, ask her to read it to another adult, maybe grandma or something, to get an adult's opinion.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

sunshine's picture

Submitted by sunshine on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 8:52am

I think you are thinking along very similiar thoughts and it worked great! I have two girls and he has two girls. We married four year ago. My two girls stood beside me and his beside him. I also bought each girl little heart rings and when me and my husband exchanged rings,, then I put the rings on his girls and he put the rings on my girls. There were no complaints and it worked out great. During the pictures, we did some funny ones like his girls giving me a laundry basket and my girls pulling on my husbands jacket tail. It will work out for you. I think you have included her enough so that she feels important. Good luck!

BridgingTheGap's picture

Submitted by BridgingTheGap on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 10:23am

You're doing exactly what I would do (should the day come for me and BF). I think its cute that you're getting her a ring. Just have an adult listen to the speech beforehand.

I hope your wedding day is perfect! Enjoy every second of it because it all goes by so fast.