Self,
By the time you are reading this note, you may be in tears, in shock or lost, please take a deep breath , exhale and keep on reading.
First, there is no excuse for whatever he did/said, but the situation will not improve if you cannot calm down.
Second, you are not alone, when you are right in the middle of the mess, thinking this is never going to end, you will survive, become stronger and wiser. Don't give up.
You are who you are, never doubt yourself, be a happy mommy for DD. Don't you ever forget that.
I understand you are angry and frustrated, the main reason is not what he did/said. It is because you got threw into this mess, not by choice at least. Well, since this already is a done deal, we may as well savage what need to be done than what had already done.
He got kicked out by his own BM, the least to tell him we are there for him, it's really not his fault if he got a bad BM. No matter what, he will always love his BM, like you will always love your mom and dad. Put the emotions aside, focus on guidances. Your efforts will pay off in a long way.
Last but not least, helping him means helping you, DH will thank you for standing right by him.
Love,
Apple