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Pictures of BM in homes that don't belong to us

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:37am

Reznov's blog got me to thinking about this.

I know my mil has pictures of the BM in her home. However, I'm not going to ask her to take them down, and neither will DH. Why? Because it's not our home, and we don't want anyone asking us to take pictures down in our home, so why do it to someone else? It would make us look controlling in her eyes. If it were done to us, it'd make us feel like someone was attempting to control and micromanage us. I don't want to feel that way so why do it to someone else?

By the way, the pictures mil has of BM aren't huge, but more like family group photos she was in. I could ask mil to take them down, but I don't want to start a fight with her, or between her and DH.

Comments

cookiez24's picture

Submitted by cookiez24 on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:18am

My MIL actually has my SO's wedding album in the living room with the other wedding albums (his borther & sisters). I asked him why she would keep it there out in the open and he said he didn't notice. That was a lie b/c he picked it up a couple of months ago and put it down quickly hoping I didn't notice!!

I would never ask her to move it, but do find it quite strange that it is kept there when she hates BM. Or at least says she does!

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:42am

My MIL displays current photos of BM both by herself and with skids.

My solution. I rarely go over.

asheeha's picture

Submitted by asheeha on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:34pm

i have mentioned when it's not a collective family photo. when it was of dh and bm alone i've mentioned it to my mil. she doesn't want any up around her either. i made sure they had another photo to replace it. same size and everything.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 1:39pm

FMIL only has pictures of SS in her home... I don't think FDH would ever speak to his mother again if she had BM's picture (even with SS in them) up anywhere in her house.

thefunmommy's picture

Submitted by thefunmommy on Wed, 04/11/2012 - 2:29pm

MIL has family pictures including BM on display. Those I would never ask her to remove, as some of them include DH's deceased brother and/or MIL's parents. There are some including FIL's father who passed and mother who is failing. There was one in one of the guest bedrooms of just DH and BM, that I was uncomfortable with (very cozy-cuddly). I asked her in passing what it was from, she apparently forgot it was there. It's since been replaced. I figure if it holds some special memory for MIL, then I'll get over it, I would never ask her to remove something like that. I guess I'm comfortable enough with my MIL to let her know if a picture or something made uncomfortable. I wouldn't ask her to take them down, I don't live there, but I'll mention it and let her do with it what she wishes. My 2 cents that turned into more like 10 Blum 3

mommy in need's picture

Submitted by mommy in need on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 1:51pm

You so need to have your own space in your own home. As for anyone else well. That is a difficult move. There will be an opening to do so. When you see it take it. Also you could offer a replacement photo to help with the transition

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