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The very reason we ALL get a bad wrap...

Anne Summers's picture

Submitted by Anne Summers on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 7:25pm

I found this tonight while surfing the web. I think it is the "stereotypical" reason on why we ALL get a bad wrap as a SM. Geez, I just wish someone would write into one of these columns one time and say---"BM and/or Daddy-o are bums and my SM/SD are awesome!" LOL---I'm dreaming. Wink

""""DEAR ABBY: My stepmother would like us to have a closer relationship. She and my father married eight years ago while I was in college. She was his mistress. I don't like her for a variety of reasons not all having to do with the divorce. Until now, it has been easy to remain "cordially distant."

All of a sudden she has become pushy. She says we "have" to be closer and that she's got "rights in my life as my mother." She wants me to call her "Mom" and to get me to tell her I love her. It is not going to happen. But I care about her feelings and also about keeping peace in the family.

How can I let her know that I liked things better when we were more distant and avoid telling her I love her? I need her to back off. Talking to Dad won't help. He's defensive about anything related to his wife and can't understand why everyone doesn't like her as much as he does. -- NOT IN LOVE WITH DAD'S WIFE

DEAR NOT IN LOVE: Your father's "bride" appears to have the hide of an alligator and a voracious appetite to match. She's trying to "devour" you.

It would not be rude to remind the woman that you already have a mother, and as long as you are blessed to have one, you do not intend to call anyone else by her name. As for your being asked to tell her you "love" her, explain that while you are grateful to her for making your dad happy, love is something that needs to blossom over time -- and enough time hasn't passed yet. (It should not be necessary to mention that "enough time" will never elapse.)""""

Take care ya'll!

Anne

Comments

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 7:52pm

What a stereotypical perspective, and response! I guess it is open season on steps no matter what! Great! Wink
_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2

lovelovelove's picture

Submitted by lovelovelove on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 8:18pm

Screw 'em all!!

Wink

jojo71's picture

Submitted by jojo71 on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 8:53pm

I wonder if the "mistress" part made her instantly evil? I wonder if that had not been part of it, if Miss Abby would have been a little nicer. Just thinking...

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 9:25pm

JamaicanMeCrazy
LIVE LOVE LAUGH

this morning at breakfast - ugh! Abby has had a few step parent letters lately and it appears she has something against us, though what I don't know. Abby & her twin Ann were raised in a good wholesome Jewish family, but maybe their mamma read them Cinderella once too often.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 9:48pm

(It should not be necessary to mention that "enough time" will never elapse.)

This SD might come to really like her SM someday. So I thought that that part was uncalled for.

I can relate to this SD in that my stepmother was my dad's mistress and that's not the only reason I'm not close with her. I'm "cordially distant" to my stepmother as well. But while my stepmother is as cold as the Polar Ice Caps, it appears as though her SM is as warm as the Equator! Maybe the SM comes across as "trying too hard" and too forceful in her SD's mind.

I don't think that this SD should be forced to say that she feels something that she does not towards her stepmother-love. I DO think that she needs to be polite in expressing how she feels.

pafreema's picture

Submitted by pafreema on Sat, 08/29/2009 - 4:33pm

"AND ... HAS ANYONE EVER HEARD OF A STEP PARENT BEING MORE LOVED THAN A BIO PARENT"

IT'S SO STRANGELY THAT SAY YOU THESE WORDS BECAUSE THOSE WERE VERY ONES THAT HAVE COME OUT OF BMOM MOUTH....

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I REALLY WAS TRYING TO ACCEPT THE PACKAGE DEAL DO RIGHT BY MY STEPCHILDREN. SHE HAD ASKED SDAUGHTER IF SHE LOVED SMOM MORE THAN HER (BM)???.

StepMadre's picture

Submitted by StepMadre on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 3:36am

I just have to say that my SS11 has told me multiple times that he loves me MORE than his mom and even though I know this probably isn't true, he definitely is seeing his mom in a different light now that he's older and I don't think she should count on him loving her just because she gave birth to him. I think that bio-bond will always be there, but he sure is irritated with her and more disrespectful towards her than I would ever let him be with me!

"A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness isn’t being a bully, it’s having a backbone.” ~Robert Kiyosaki