After much worry and love and cuddles and progressively worse health we laid our best boy kitty to rest yesterday. He ended up not passing from kidney disease, but cancer. Our wonderful vet helped us on his final day with compassion and tears with us.

...has left the building.

Shell be on her way to college in six days. DH did good with her while she was here.

They talked, actually talked. He told her he and I were having some personal things to deal with and this I was in the guest room. He's out to dinner with her now, one last time before she goes back to BMs. She ate out TWICE while here, astounding.

So H is back.

I have no fear he's going to hurt anyone at all. So I am safe, 100%.

He has spoken with his therapist 2x - and will likely continue with her several times a week for now. We don't think hospitalization is needed at this point. He agrees he is not in a state of suicide at this point, even though it's still in the background for him.

Ok, I've been processing a LOT. I have a counselor I like, we've had one meeting so far, and another for later this week; we'll be meeting weekly for the forseeable future (I'm lucky she's a Zoom user because it's not easy for me to get to the city due to location).

It's been hard. I've been mostly angry, some sadness is starting to set in now though. Anxiety too.