the ex and child support.
My ex and I have been divorced for 8 years, separated for 12. He pays $100 a week for two kids. It has been this amount for 12 years.
At the time we separated we both agreed on this set amount. I also promised I would never ask for more (BIG MISTAKE) but, this was a verbal agreement, nothing was ever put in writing.
Our kids are now 15 and 13 and I am disabled and unable to work (not bf's fault I know) and things are way more expensive now. Ds15 needs braces, just had to get glasses, and he wants to play football! Dd13 had to get glasses as well, NOT a cheap Dr's visit there! They both have cell phones, ipods, all the extras I can afford on the $100 a week he sometimes doesn't even send (its been almost two months since I've received a cs payment).
I use the cs to pay what few bills I can to help fdh, to lessen his burden. He has taken on my 5 kids and never complained about it! I on the other hand feel useless/worthless because I physically CANNOT work to help out more financially. My younger three kids bf pays nothing, he fell off the planet three years ago.
So, my question is;
Do I go for a modification of support w/exh? Even though I made a promise to not do so? I should add, Exh was recently released from a doctor to go back to work after being injured on the job so as far as I know he isn't working right now.
I think are more than
I think are more than justified. You agreed not to ask for more if he sent you 100 per week. He hasn't sent anything.g in two months. He broke the agreement, not you. You are well within your right to now seek a new agreement since he defaulted on your original one.
So neither one of you are
So neither one of you are working??
Personally, if you want to modify, I would wait until he has a job. Perhaps you two can come to an agreement, though. I think if he's basically been paying for 12 years with only a few hiccups, it wouldn't hurt to try to make good on your word. Talk to him and see if he agrees the more $ is necessary.
Either way, I'd wait for him to work.
I think you are in your right
I think you are in your right to do so... but please mind that you might get less than what you are promised even now, if he's unemployed (unless his unemployment benefits is much higher, if he even gets them.)
I wish you luck!
I would say you can try to
I would say you can try to get modification but it will be based off of his income and yours. From what I understand the judge doesnt care about your bills and extra curricular activites.
Also, just an observation. I would also leave out the fact that your are struggling financially but your kids have cell phones, ipods and all the "luxury" items your kids have. It really doesn't look very good to a judge. My husband and I work fulltime and our kids don't have those things cuase we can't afford it.
I was thinking the same
I was thinking the same thing. Also, if you can't afford extra-curriculars for your children, then don't sign them up. They are, afterall, EXTRA. If kids are very determined to participate, then make sure they take full advantage of all fund-raising activities. They should also be out waking dogs and mowing lawns to help pay for their extras.
You can take him back, but it
You can take him back, but it may not be worth the amount you pay to lawyers. As for husband #2 you need to pursue him as well, if you are doing it to Husband#1. Fair is fair.
Your DH is a saint for taking on 5 kids with this little in support.
So, the first one pays for 2,
So, the first one pays for 2, but the other one doesn't pay for 3...and you are seeking an increase from #1...is that correct? If so, I see that maybe 100USD a week for 2 might be tough, not sure how or why they have iPods and all the extras really...but if you do seek an increase, make sure that it is ONLY used for kids 1/2...kids 3/4/5 are not the responsibility of ex#1...that's your responsiblity along with your 2nd ex.
PS - if you are disabled, but can type, there are plenty of online jobs that can get you some income...it is also your responsiblity to support the kids...not just the men's responsiblity... you can check out zazzle.com or squidoo.com for free income opportunities...no money up front
Yes you go for a modification
Yes you go for a modification of support on both BioDads. The money supports the kids. As for BioDad #2 you might as well put him in the poor house forever for abandoning his kids.
You may never see a dime but you also may get a huge judgement against him and start collecting something for your kids.
I love your response...but
I love your response...but really, how can you ask that she put them BOTH in the poor house when she is not contributing a single penny to their welfare? If she is truly disabled, she would be receiving some type of income...now wouldn't she?
She has 3 men to support her kids but she is "disabled"...hmmm...wow...
HWGA, I have no information
HWGA,
I have no information other than what Bubbly first posted. So, I responded from that perspective. I do get your concerns though. But, until more info is available I will stick with my original opinion.
I think we as Sparents many who are married to NCPs tend get very tense when a BM, CP or a member of the blended family opposition starts talking about increasing CS. Particularly with the tendency for so many recievers of CS to abuse the money and not use it for the kids.
In my blended family situation I am married to the CP who did receive CS and even I understand that generally NCP dads get hosed by the system.
However, my Skid's SpermIdiot is such a worthless POS and the SpermClan is so toxic and manipulative that I would gladly put every f-in one of them in to bankruptcy and would relish having them all live in boxes under an over pass somewhere. So we kept them on the hook for CS until my SS aged out from under the CO. Hell, I would send collections after them even in their old ratty refridgerator box. }:)
But, since Bubbly is not a member of the SpermClan I will give her the benefit of the doubt until more info is available.
Best regards,
Ok, first, I AM disabled
Ok, first, I AM disabled (doctor documented) BECAUSE of dad #2's nine years of abuse. I have a lawyer and I am in the process of getting on disability. I WANT to work, my doctors tell me I cannot. I have severe spinal injuries that require me to take hefty narcotics 5x's a day. I was trained in the medical field (no dr's office or hospital will even look at me w/the narcotics in my system, I'm a liability)
Fdh IS a saint! I agree!! He is the one who struggles, not only financially, but, seeing how it effects me watching it all from the sidelines and feeling trapped by my disability. He is the one who comforts me when I cry because I feel like a waste of space ALL. THE. TIME! I went to college to make something of myself, to provide for my kids. ON. MY. OWN. I didn't choose to be this way, I didn't ask ex-asshole2 "hey, could you grab my hair and try to rip my head off AGAIN"
yes, I stayed and put up with it. MY FAULT! I didn't want to FAIL again.
I don't have $$ TO waste. The things my kids have were gifts from my Mother and Aunt. (Cell, ipods). I never have a dime to my name! Ever. Period. I've been waiting for the disability crap for over a year now. And the lawyer's say it could be another year.
Ex1 has missed SEVERAL payments, not just two. He will pay when he's being threatened by the state w/jail time or loss of his driving privileges. Then he pays reg. for a month or so then stops again. He has lost his entire income tax return several times because of his arrears.
I HATE HATE HATE the fact that I cannot help fdh financially. HATE! IT! I'm in therapy TO deal with the abuse, and the aftermath OF the abuse. ie; me not being able to work or even do certain chores around the house because I've been told by several doctors DO NOT do these things. DO NOT lift more than 10lbs. DO NOT has become my theme song. And its depressing as HELL!
I'd Love nothing more than to nail ex2's balls to the wall and take EVERY PENNY he ever makes. I cannot hire a private investigator. The state has tried locating him for three years......nothing. He hides behind Mommy and now his new wifey.
I am well aware I should wait until ex1 has a job (he's an electrician and makes VERY good $$) I was only wondering if I was being a bitch going back on a promise I made 12 years ago to a man who has NEVER kept his!