You are here

Visitation drop off/pick up question in South Carolina.

Bubbly1's picture
Forums: 

Recently bm and I have been arguing. I am the one who usually does the pu/do of sd's. Bm is now stating she will no longer let the girls go with me and she will not put them in My car if I show up alone to pick them up. This has been the arrangement for almost 2 1/2 years now. And she has never had a problem, until now.

She also stated she would no longer allow "overnights" at my and fdh's house. Because of me. That my FDH is welcome to see the girls at her house, but not the home he and I share. I should add; fdh and bm are still married and in the process of divorcing. She also claims she will have this put into their custody agreement in their divorce documents.

So, my question is, Can she do this? Can she keep the girls away from me and essentially their father.

my.kids.mom's picture

My bf's exw has been trying this, too. They've been going back and forth between mediators and attorneys for a year, and from what I can gather, unless you are abusing or neglecting them in some way, there is no way she can keep them away from you. Since she hasn't had a problem in the past 2.5 years of you picking up, the judge will also likely let that go. She is an idiot. But I'm wondering about you, too, being with someone that long who is still married?! The most surprising thing is that this is starting NOW. How weird.

Kilgore SMom's picture

I don't live in your state. Someone I know has a girlfriends that he was planning to marry and they have a small child together and her exH had it in their papers that she could not take their children around this one guy and the papers list his name. So they broke it off. Because it was to much to deal with. Being that ya'll have been doing this for 2 years seems like reason enough for a judge to say no to BM about trying to stop home visit because your there. At this point he has custody of the kids just like she does if their not divorce. So there is no visitation set at all right? So the balls in whoevers has thems courts, till there is a court order. Wonder what she would do if DH picked them up and didn't take them home. Till DH file in court. Just saying. I'd try to get a step ahead of BM.

Bubbly1's picture

Thanks for the advise and comments. To answer a few of everyone's questions;
Why are they still married? For the most part money. She keeps saying she is filing, we wait, nothing happens. We have a set of papers drawn up but then she will pull "well, I've hired a lawyer" so we wait some more.
What was the argument? It initially started over something fdh did 9 months ago, 8 when this started. Its in my blogs, I tried to calm her, reason with her, nothing helps. She's nuts! Then she apologized, and the very next day was at it again. I've since had to file harassment charges, just to get her to stop!
Why all of a sudden a problem? Good question. She and fdh have been separated for 4yrs. He and I together for almost 3. She has lived with at least two different men in that time and been "engaged" to at least 4! She introduces the girls to every Tom, Dick, and Harry she meets with NO regards to how they feel or think. Sd8 was just diagnosed with bipolar, because mommy dearest has it, I'm sure. Fdh has been with me, and only me in that time. We're blissfully happy, she is not. She wants us to be as miserable as she is, is my only guess.
Why am I still with him if he's married? It took me 4yrs to finally get my divorce from xh in 04, so I get some divorces take a little longer.
AND I love this man with every fiber of my being! He is the kindest, most gentle, smartest, sexiest, good looking, wonderful, thoughtful, loving, caring, giving, I could go on all day. The kicker is, I have 6 bio's. The night we met, the first words out of my mouth after hello were "and I have 6 kids" he didn't even blink! Just said "cool I have 2 girls" it takes a strong man to raise another mans kids. Bd is not in my kids lives, he was abusive and when he left we were all glad to see him go. So fdh took on that roll and he loves them like they're his. We are talking about fdh adopting the younger three. After the divorce. Thanks again for the advice and comments. I've got to dig up some dirt on bm. Leases and such from living with various men.