I need perspective perhaps. I have been taking care of step kids since they were 2 and 4 - now in their 30's. I had them every summer and for a year when they were 6 an 8 and another year just ss at age 16 - he had threatened his mother), also I have had step grandkids for a month the last 3 summers but not allowed this year - I dared to discipline a very undisciplined immature (ok he's 7, BUT acts 3) step grandson. He stole money, threw tantrums etc...My husband has left the discipline to ME-making me literally the mean old step mom. I expected the kids for a week last summer but they were left here for a month - BECAUSE "THAT IS WHAT GRANDPARENTS DO" and "we parent 10 months of the year" (maternal grandmother has them the first month and they come here with granddaughter super sick from swimmers' ear EVERY YEAR! I get to take her to a doctor and pay for meds etc....Did I mention my husband has had to work out of province the last 2 years - so he wasn't even HERE last summer!!!!!!) Now he went to visit them for a weekend - I am all for that - but didn't tell me, so I did not budget it and now we are behind on bills - but he thinks I am angry that he visited them - NOT- angry he does not comunicate with me or for me with his son.